Monday, January 31, 2022

Giving, taking, sharing

 


I'm convinced in the world there are certain groups of people across all national, racial, cultural lines: Givers, takers, sharers.

GIVERS

Those who think of others. Although it can be monetary such as buying someone a meal, loaning money, taking the time to be kind, recognizing how to be helpful without being asked. A major example was when I was moving and was worried about how many bus trips it would take to get my things to the new place. I answered the phone and my new housemate asked when I would like her to show up with her car to do it in a single trip. I had never asked, she just knew and stepped in.

Givers may participate in greater charities but they are there for their friends in small things as well as large. They will make donations to groups, and sometimes to the woman begging in the street knowing it might be a sham, but what if would be beaten if she didn't bring enough money back.

Giving can vary. They say the poor are more generous than the rich. Not everyone can be like Diane Disney and the former Mrs. Bezos who distribute millions of dollars.

There is the woman, who on a limited budget takes donations of things like toothbrushes, mittens, hats, tampons, makes up bags then she and her daughter distribute them on Christmas day to homeless women.  

Or the friend who knows someone if having a bad time and just sits with them.

TAKERS

Here I am not talking about people who borrow money and don't repay it, although it fits. I'm talking about those who think only of themselves. I would say those who refuse to wear a mask without thinking how they are endangering others are among those. Or those who say why should they help those that have no health insurance are among the takers. It's the I have what I need, screw you philosophy. But it can be more personal. The person who never contacts a friend even though they enjoy each other's company, the one who says when they break a planned date, usually saying, "I know you'll understand, but..." 

SHARERS

Hopefully this is the largest group. Those people who give when it is right and can accept when needed. Givers sometimes find it difficult to take. Givers and takers together flip back and forth and it all evens out and even if it doesn't no one cares. Shared can make everyone stronger.

It may be why coop start ups have a lower failure rate than the capitalistic model where everything goes to the top. Or why the economy would be better if the top of large corporations shared the profit with the employees who created it.

 I'm thinking of the African children who wanted to share their winnings so every one would be happy rather than just one.
Giving can be overdone. The best illustration is Shel Silverstone's The Giving Tree, where the tree gave so much it had nothing left. I think of an airline, where when an oxygen mask drops, people are suppose to put it on themselves before putting it on others who need help. It means everyone has a better chance of survival. Sharing also means everyone does better with whatever resources exist.






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