So Far and Yet So Near

 

The book So Far and Yet So Near was given to me by a good friend. It's a collection of stories by expats and their experiences transitioning to a new culture. Many of the writers were writer friends of mine. Some were written about countries where I lived others that I may never see.

Especially for the first time expats there is always a moment of disbelief. "I can't flush the toilet after 10 pm?" "Our only heat is a wood burning stove?" "You eat cheese AFTER a meal?"

Those who have moved from country to country will watch to see what the natives do and then embrace what they can.

In my business communication class I had my students who were from Asia, Europe, the Middle East (The American geographic point of view) and Africa demonstrate correct table manners for their country. I still remember an elderly French woman ask my French companion why I kept my hand in my lap during the meal. I now leave it on the table which is what gave me the idea for the exercise.

One of the essays was by a friend. Even without the name, I knew it would be about her by her love of popcorn if not her excellent writing. She had all the homesickness followed by a realization that there was good and bad in both countries.

Living in a country can lead to three things.

• Giving up and going home.
• Rejecting the original for the new and settling in permanently.
  
• Never becoming totally at home in either place BUT being content in one's own skin combining the cultures.

After 33 years of living away, I know I will never be totally of anyplace ever again.  Part of me will always be New England Yankee, but part of my is Canadian, Swiss and French. Memories of living in Germany stay with me right down to my sandwich boards. A bit of my heart will always beat faster when it hears a bagpipe. The chance to hop over to Scotland makes my heart beat faster.

Now I live in a delightful Genevan village and a Catalan village almost to the Spanish border. Catalan is another culture within France. It is two lives in one or maybe 2.5.

I am so far away from so much of where I have lived and so near to where I have lived. And I carry most of it in my heart.