Place: A corporation of 122 employees
Participants: Sally White, Human Resources Manager
Jennifer Rice, Assistant HR Manager
Date: 15 June
*****
From: Jennifer Rice
To: All staff
Date: 15 June
Subject: (F*รง%&=?R) dirty underwear in lunch room
Get it out. Now!!! It's disgusting.
Thought I'd send it to you for comment before I sent it.
From: Sally White
To: Jennifer Rice
Date: 15 June
Subject: Your memo to staff on dirty underwear in the lunch room
I really appreciate you showing me the memo on the underwear before sending it. I think it does need to be toned down into corporate diplomatic language. If you need to vent, please stop by my office.
From: Jennifer
To: Sally White
Date: 15 June
Subject: Underwear in lunch room. Is this better????
To the idiot who left his filthy, disgusting underwear in the lunch room. GET IT OUT!
Is this better, Sally????
From: Sally
To: Jennifer
Date: 15 June
Subject: Underwear in lunch room
Not quite, but better. You're getting there. Give it another softer try.
From: Jennifer
To: Sally
Date: 15 June
Subject: Underwear in lunch room
The staff eats in the lunch room, it is better not to have dirty underwear on the tables where people eat.
From: Jennifer
To: Sally
Date: 15 June
Subject: Underwear in lunch room
From: Sally
To: Jennifer
Date: 15 June
Subject: Underwear in lunch room
I think that might be TMI, too much information, although our staff does like knowing reasons things are done. Please try again.
From: Jennifer
To: Sally
Date: 15 June
Subject: The lunch room -- personal belongings
Whomever left belongings of a personal nature in the lunchroom, please pick them up as soon as possible. You know who you are.
From: Sally
To: Jennifer
Date: 15 June
Subject: The lunch room -- personal belongings
Latest attempt. And it's whoever not whomever. I know you are taking a creative writing course, but corporate diplomacy is a different type of writing.
From: Jennifer
To: Sally
Date: 15 June
Subject: Personal items in the lunch room
Someone has left articles of personal clothing in the lunch room. Could you please collect them as soon as possible.
To: Jennifer
From: Sally:
Date: 15 June
Subject: You nailed it
Change "articles of personal clothing" to "personal items" and send it.
From: Jennifer
To: All Staff
Date: 15 June
Subject: Personal items in the lunch room
Someone has left articles of personal items in the lunch room. Could you please collect them as soon as possible.
To: Jennifer
From: Sally:
Date: 15 June
Subject: Thanks
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