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The ExPat Writer

D-L Nelson is a Swiss-Canadian writer and journalist. Visit her website http://dlnelsonwriter.com

Monday, September 07, 2026

4 laptopless days

  “Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.”

Gloria Steinem 1934-2026  

 


I'm constantly writing in my head, usually on my rose-decorated laptop or in notebooks.

Thus to leave my laptop home for a visit with college friends was monumental.

My friends came from the States to Périgord, France. My husband, Sherlock The Pup and I drove there. 

The hotel had a mat, a dish of food, a water dish, and a box of biscuits for Sherlock. No staff member passed him in the corridor without saying how cute he was and patting him. My friends, also dog lovers, treated him as royality.

We combined conversation and memories, including reciting the first few lines in Old English of the Canterbury Tales. His memory covered more lines than mine.

Périgord had its own regional delights including foix gras and different duck dishes and traditionally long French meals were a pleasure. Although I live part time in France and part time in Geneva, a new region of tastes was more than welcome.

Like I and my husband are, they are history and book buffs. We share political beliefs. Between that and sharing details of the years we didn't have contact there was never a lack of topics. 

Like many French areas the typography and flora vary. Every twist in the roads was beautiful in its own way.

 

Our last morning (we were going home, they were going on to Paris) I saw what I wanted to see most, Josephine Baker's château. 


We decided to have a last lunch together in Domme. He did not know how thrilled I was to be in a Cathar bastide. I had spent years researching the Cathars, trotting up mountains to Cathar strongholds, but I had missed seeing Domme.

Lunch served outdoors by an exceptionally smiley waiter outdoors was a perfect finish to a a perfect visit.

I loved everything we said, everything we ate, everything we saw, but best of all was the time with people who were a major part of my life during the college years. Despite the decades in between, it was like we are running to history or poetry classes except no exam awaited us. 

Our lives have been our exams, living 101. 

Did I miss my laptop? Only on the four + hour drive home. 

 

  

 

Posted by DL NELSON at 11:33 PM No comments:

Too much, too many

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/933565701162168371/1546184357176152094/rickadamsfraes_laptop_with_emeails_flying_out_and_stacked_aroun_ee6366a3-2c5c-42b0-8092-a2580f8b4d74.png?ex=6a9edbe5&is=6a9d8a65&hm=01ada2bd3442158982bf76a60f77c9b780c3bdbad19fa09764da8103b9f0133b& 

It started with a couple of emails. Now it can be up to 20 or more a day. Book reviewers, pod casters, free lance editors, publicists...if it has to do with publishing, they are soliciting me usually with a mass mailings starting "Dear Author"... followed by a pitch pretending they know me.

Rarely does one use my name. One must have thought I changed my name to Kenneth. 

Here's a sloppy mailer. 

Dear Donna Lane,

After learning more about Cook With Confidence, I couldnt shake the feeling that this book is sitting in front of the wrong audience. You have created a practical and encouraging guide that helps teens, young adults, and other inexperienced cooks... 

That's not my book.

Someone who used my name and obviously looked at my web site https://dlnelsonwriter.blogspot.com including a bit of my biography. One offered a service that might interest me and after checking her out on LinkedIn and Facebook, I responded. It's worth a follow up conversation. 

Many offer to get me Amazon reviews. I have a set paragraph which I send saying that I want nothing to do with anything Jeff Bezos could profit from. He is one of those oligarchs helping to destroy my birth country. 

A young artist wrote a personal email looking for cover designing business. Although I have no need of an artist and I love my book cover designer Deirdre Wait, I gave him some marketing hints, wishing him good luck.  

I want my email for friends and family not clogged with advertising. 

Silly me. 

 

 

 

Posted by DL NELSON at 2:39 AM No comments:

Coat Hangers Before Roe

 

“Every third woman in America will have had an abortion during her life.” Dr. Grimes  

 Dr. David Grimes can say what it was like before Roe v. Wade far better than I can:

“The decades before Roe v. Wade were the bad ol’ days. It was horrible carnage—and every one of those deaths was preventable. These women weren’t dying of exotic diseases. They were dying of simple things like hemorrhage and infection, and any third-year medical student with adequate equipment could’ve easily handled it. But the reason those women were dying is because the country had not yet made the decision that these women’s lives are worth saving. It’s just one of the ugly manifestations of misogyny, and it needs to be understood as such. It was a profound disdain of women and their autonomy.”

“Back in the '50s and '60s, every major metropolitan hospital in the U.S. had a septic abortion ward. The most common reason for admission to gynecological services in America was complication of abortion. When I was a doctor at L.A. County hospital in 1986, my predecessors who’d trained there told me the septic abortion ward at that hospital was a 20-bed, U-shaped ward, and they had two private rooms. These private rooms were there so women could be alone with their families as they died from complications of illegal abortions, and those rooms were always full. When the California laws changed in 1967 and abortion became legal in the state, those wards emptied, closed, and were converted to other uses.”

By the time Dr. Grimes finished medical school in North Carolina, abortion had been made legal in that state, though Roe v. Wade had not been issued. However, when he started his training it was not, and he saw patients who had had illegal abortions. Many faced death.

His words: “One patient was called to the emergency room when I was on call, and she reportedly had a fever of 106 or 107 degrees. I thought that was an error, because I had never seen folks with fever that high, except folks with heat stroke. I discovered it wasn’t an error—the patient was desperately ill, and when I did the pelvic exam, I found a red, rubber catheter protruding from the woman’s cervix. It had been put in place by a technician the next town over. She was a well-known illegal abortion provider who was still practicing in the early days after Roe v. Wade.”

Throughout his career, which spanned four decades, Grimes did abortions; he was dedicated to teaching medical students and doctors safe methods. It wasn’t his dedication to abortion, it was his dedication to giving the woman the right to choose.

Pro-life people can show pictures of fetuses. One anti-choice film has an animation of a baby in the uterus being pulled apart, horrible at best.

There are no winners in this issue. The baby will die in an abortion. In an illegal abortion, the mother has a far greater chance of dying also. If the mother gives birth, the baby may be loved. It may be put up for adoption into a loving family.

Or the mother may not have the resources to give the child the type of life all children should have. The adoptive parents may be abusive; it happens more than often than we want to admit.

The reasons for making that difficult decision to have an abortion do not go away.

An unwanted pregnancy seldom has a happy ending. There are no good choices and as much as everyone wishes for a happy-ever-after ending, there are few.

Dr. Grimes spoke plainly when he described other abortions gone wrong. “They were inserted into the uterus and taped in place, and they would cause infection, which would then induce an abortion. The more invasive the illegal abortion technique of putting things in the uterus, the more successful and the more dangerous it was.”

He talked about “a young student from the University of North Carolina. She came in near death; she was in septic shock. She had virtually no blood pressure, and when I examined her, I found a dead fetal foot at about 17 weeks gestation protruding through her cervix. The circumstances were suspicious. But I didn’t press the issue; it wasn’t my job to be the inquisitor. We quickly emptied her uterus, gave her antibiotics, and saved her life as well, and sent her home.”

She was one of the lucky ones.

Dr. Grimes said, “Every third woman in America will have had an abortion during her life.” He added that poor women, who lack access to contraception, are more at risk of needing abortion.

He disputes that government not paying for abortion costs money, $2 to $10 in future societal costs.

He says abortion has reduced:

*        The number of shotgun weddings

*        Unwanted babies placed for adoption

*        Birth defects

Prohibition of abortion will be as effective as prohibition of alcohol by the eighteenth amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Dr. Grimes said that the “question confronting our nation today is simply what women will be forced to pay for their abortions…in terms of dollars, disease, degradation, and for some death. As Santayana observed, society must learn from its experiences; if not, we remain savages. If we lose our collective memory of the bad old days and turn back the clock on women in America, as happened in Romania, we do so at great peril.” 

Grimes’ Credentials

Dr. Grimes is an internationally known abortion scholar. His credentials include:

*        Work with the World Health Organization (WHO)

*        Research on abortion nationally and internationally

*        Clinical trials of mifepristone, the drug used for medical abortion

*        398+ articles in peer-reviewed journals

*        Editor of the first two editions of the National Abortion Federation Textbook

 Education

*        Harvard University, undergraduate degree in Biology

*        University of North Carolina Morehead Fellow

*        Emory University, Faculty

*        University of Southern California, faculty

*        University of North Carolina, faculty

Awards


*        National Institutes of Health T32 training grant, principal investigator

 

*        Commendation Medal from the U.S. Public Health Service

*        The Christopher Tietze Award from the National Abortion Federation

*        Alan   Guttmacher    Award    from   the           Association    of           Reproductive           Health Professionals

*        Distinguished Service Award from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

*        Issue of the Year Award 1994 American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists


Memberships, Publications and Certifications

*        Institute of Medicine of the National Academies of Science

*        Honorary Fellow of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists UK

*        American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology

*        American Board of Preventive Medicine

*        Taught research methods to doctors/scientists in Bangladesh, Ethiopia, Egypt, India and Kenya.

*        Chaired and a member of the World Health Organizations Data Safety and Monitoring Boards.

*        Berlex Foundation/Excellence Foundation trained 2,000+ US obstetricians and gynecologists

*        Published 398 peer-reviewed articles, 50 textbook chapters, 11 books

*        Served on the boards of The Lancet, Obstetrics and Gynecology, Obstetrical and Gynecology Survey, and Contraception.

Posted by DL NELSON at 2:21 AM No comments:
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