So much for absolutes

When I was little I used to think when I grew up I had to cut my hair short, own a white washer and dryer and have a station wagon so children (in this case my brother and I) wouldn't get crumbs or drip ice cream in the "good car" that my father drove. That was what had happened to my mother's friends.

Families had been in town for generations. We even lived in my grandparents house.

Not only that after a certain age it was necessary to wear "sensible shoes" like my grandmother's generation as shown in the photo above. Also my mother's friend, Ruth, wore sensible shoes because she had bad feet. I vowed I never would have shoes like in the photo-- no matter what my feet felt like.

Days were spent ensconced at home doing housework, caring for kids, and to a certain extent Kaffe Klatches with the neighbours. Of course, this was pre Betty Friedan.

To me these absolutes for adulthood sounded like hell. Boring. Suffocating.

Still, my mother wasn't a typical housewife. Because she was divorced at a time when divorces didn't happen, she worked. 

Rather than leave my brother and myself she started her own business selling clothes on a house party plan, running fashion shows, etc. She was able to only work six months a year leaving plenty of time for us kids, golf, etc. and later time to be a journalist. 

Housework was not in her program, left to my grandmother and the cleaning woman.

As an adult I escaped my hometown (which really was a pretty good place to grow up in a a postcard-New-England-cliché-complete-with-white-church-across-from-the-common way).

When I grew up some of my absolute nevers as a child have not happened, some have.

• I own a white washing machine in thenest. I use a white washing machine in the warren and in Geneva. 
• My hair has been many different lengths
• I don't have a station wagon nor for decades even a car
• I live on a different continent than my childhood home
• I gave up tottering heals for comfortable flats, but only pretty ones, how sensible I'm not sure
• I do housework because I like a clean house
• I often meet friends and neighbours for coffee, usually in a Swiss or French tearoom

The last thing I've given up is absolute nevers maybe with the exception of never buying shoes like the one in the photo above.