The loss of someone

I heard from my former niece, whom I am still in contact with. Her mother passed away at 92.

I have not had much contact with my former sister-in-law since the early 90s, but it is still a loss. She was part of important chunk of my life.

At her wedding, I remember that the ice cream was molded into fruits. My serving was grapes.

Later my ex and I would baby sit for their son and daughter. Some times the parents would bring fried clams as a thank you. As a New Englander, I loved them. Only years later did I realize why so many times after baby sitting I was sick. I am allergic.

When my mother insisted I give back my engagement ring ( my ex was stationed in D.C.) I gave it to my future sister-in-law who kept it until I could elope. During that period they took me to their New Hampshire cabin, a relief from the tension in my home. 

Because I couldn't swim, I couldn't water ski, but they let me drive the boat for the other skiers. No one drowned.

We went to see Mr. Smith Goes to Washington movie.

For years I used the Corning Ware she gave me.

My in-laws had lots of family gatherings. My sister-in-law  made the best potato salad I've ever eaten. I was invited to these gatherings even after my ex and I separated. 

During the last gathering I went to, I realized that the family was circled around me and my baby daughter. He was isolated in a corner. I had a lot of emotional support from my father and stepmom and friends. He needed his family.

The last time I saw my ex-sister-in-law was at my mother-in-law's funeral back at my ex-husband and his second wife's home after the service. My mother-in-law years before had informed me that she would always care about me. I visited her periodically. That was also the first gathering  I'd attended since I made my decision to back off.

Likewise when I moved to Switzerland, my ex-sister-in-law and I exchanged letters. Why this dwindled off over the years, I don't know. More likely it was one of those things that happen.

One of the sad things on aging, is losing people you know from different periods of life. I used the word "chunk" earlier in this blog. Let me add "treasured" to chunk.