Maybe I mumble, but several people thought when I said houseMATE when I was talking about J, I was saying houseMAID. I've shared J's house since 2004, dix ans déjà as the French would say.
Thus when I told of our adventures, people thought I had a really unusual relationship with my maid. Afterall, sharing champagne/shrimp, photographing electrical boxes, going to movies, concerts, deciding to spend a day hopping off and on trains and going to Malta, Germany, England and Scotland were not normal activities shared with a maid even those from Downtown Abbey.
We had used the term roommates, but that implied, as someone pointed out, a level of intimacy that didn't exist especially in a multi-bedroomed house.
The concept of adults sharing a house without being a couple is far less common in Europe than in the states and especially in those who, if they aren't seniors are well on the way. The American show The Golden Girls didn't make it over here as far as I know. At least I haven't seen it and I've been here since 1990.
Still there's no good single term: friends, family of choice, survivor of crisis, doer of adventures, supporter in crisis, advisor, editor (J for me) information sharer, listener, surrogate mother for the other's kids, friend to the other's kids (depending on situation), worrier for the other's kids, movie or dinner companion, partner in sinning (eating at McDos) The list is almost endless.
One term that doesn't work: maid
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