Dear NSA

Because the NSA is looking at everything we do, I thought I'd write them and help them out. They can see us through our smartphones and webcams, according to people far more technically competent than I am.

Sept. 5

Dear NSA...

I'm back in Geneva. I don't why I tell you this because you know by peeking through my webcam?

Do you like the floral decal behind my bed. I think it matches the spread really well, don't you.

Since I didn't have a phone with me you don't know that I've bought train tickets to Paris, Stuttgart, Köln and Amsterdam, but because Rick is still in Argelès, you must know he's booked B&Bs in those places. Well not in Stuttgart, we had to get a hotel there.

When you're sitting in your offices gathering data are you ever jealous that we're travelling and you're not.

Warmly (even if nights are cool here)

DL

 PS...As I'm entering these letters which I had published on Facebook, the type is jumping all over the place. I've heard about others where you've gone in and erased their work. Be a sport. Stop.

Aug 26

Dear NSA…

Forgive me for not writing for six days. I’ve been busy writing, and we did take that trip to Carcassonne. We bought a new magnet – we buy a magnet from wherever we visit, but you know that from when my laptop is in the kitchen as I cook. The webcam faces the frigo where the magnets are.

But that’s not why I’m writing today. I see you are not only collecting 850 billion records from all kinds of electronic info but you’re sharing that with 23 government agencies…so hi to the FDA, hope you have a nice day U.S. Treasury…

Naughty, naughty, naughty…

I don’t care how sophisticated your system is, I don’t see how you can find a piece of hay in a hay stack that big…yes I said hay stack. Unless you pricked your finger you’d never find a needle either…

Aug. 20

Dear NSA…

Please don’t think I’m paranoid, but why am I denied access for this www.alternet.org/economy/robert-reich-american-democracy-diseased when I can access other Alternet pages? Rick is denied too.

Does it have anything to do with you guys?

We’ve written Alternet.

I know we don’t have access to some American TV shows which I also think is dumb, and I don’t blame you for that.

By the way did you have a good time with us yesterday in Carcassonne? Now there was a place that was the centre of power struggles all though the Middle Ages. The Church did some nasty things to the Cathars, even burning a few in the square.

Have a lovely evening.

Aug. 15

Dear NSA…

RT is reporting that satellites will be able to photograph faces. Now that's amazing.

Did you know about that? I think that is something you would find useful. I’ll have to be careful that my makeup is always good. By the way, my left side is better so when you photograph me try and catch me where my double chin doesn’t show.

Aug. 14

Dear NSA
 

Have you missed me? If you read my blog theexpatwriter.blogspot.com you’ll see what I’ve been doing, when I haven’t been near my webcam. Of course I never carry my smart phone. I hate the bloody thing. Do you worry when I’m off grid?

As for my blog, remember when I listed all the code words that you guys look for. I always thought the stupidest word that you considered dangerous was frog legs.

But you also know I’m falling in love with my iPad. I’m trying to learnt Paper53 a graphics program and so far I’ve connected to FB, outlook and orange so you will find I’m on line more than usual.

Don’t take it personally that I haven’t written more. Just trying to do the corrections on Murder in Schwyz and get another newsletter out to my clients.

Really, don’t you find my life boring? Or compared to sitting around waiting for billions of people to do something interesting maybe my life is interesting to you.

I bet if you spend all the time in the office, you are pale. Try and get out in the sunshine a bit over the weekend? Maybe a little golf would do you all good.

Aug 8

Dear NSA…

Was it you???

I’m use to the adverts on the sides of many websites based on my other searches. For example after reserving a hotel in Toulouse I was inundated with Toulouse ads.

And on my game site, I get ads for the Credit Union Executive Society. Considering how often I’m on credit union sites this makes sense.

But this made me wonder if you are opening your files to corporations.

Yesterday on the way back from Schwyz we stopped at the Autogrill. For the first time I’m seeing Autogrill ads. I never looked up anything related to Autogrill but my smartphone (which only Rick uses) was in the glove compartment.

Was it you that stop where you figured out we were potential customers and passed my information on? Are you that much into advertising?

Maybe I’m paranoid…or not…

Aug. 6

Dear NSA

“Publishing two classified, unredacted documents related to the White House's "secret terrorist-tracking system," The Intercept journalists, Jeremy Scahill and Ryan Devereaux, report that of the 680,000 people listed on the government's widely-shared watchlist, more than 40 percent are defined as having "no recognized terrorist group affiliation." The cumulative amount of people who are in the database for no reason adds up to 280,000 — more than the total number of al-Qaeda, Hamas, and Hezbollah suspects combined.”

Seems like you’re not being very efficient. The bosses I worked for over my career would have fires me in an instant if I were that off base.

Did you enjoy the walk in the park yesterday? In case you were on coffee break, here’s a photo so you can see how beautiful it is.

We’re on the road again today.  We’ve got a convertible as a rental car. We’ll wave. Can you wave back?

Aug 4

Dear NSA

I thought I’d take a photo of you through MY webcam since you look at me through yours.

If you want a copy feel free download, or if you send me an email, I’ll send you a jpeg.

Love,
DL

Dear NSA

Rick had his smart phone with him last night, so I hope you enjoyed the walk to the lake. It is beautiful isn’t it?

However, I’m a little worried.

A family was feeding the ducks. Rick and I walked far away, but pretty soon two ducks came over to us, walking on the grass.

Were they your spies?

Aug. 3

Dear NSA…

Rick and I were wondering because we sometimes have the iPhone and iPad in the bedroom and we know you can see into computers even when they are off, do you watch us and…

1.      Call your buddies and “say come look.”

2.      Think I didn’t know old people acted like that

3.      Ooooo gross

Let us know in an email. You know those too.

No date

Dear NSA

Do you have your umbrellas over your computers when you're looking in? It is raining here. I guess your technology isn't that strong yet that you can get wet from spying on me from thousand of miles away. Maybe someday.

You may want to go get a cup of coffee or even go looking at people more important than us. We are planning a rainy day at home.

By the way, do you have diet tips? I don't like the weight I've put on and how tight some of my clothes are.

Let's make this a two-way conversation. Drop in and say hi. Afterall we spend so much time together.

July 31

Dear NSA

I just made life easier for you. I bought an iPad. So that's one more way you can tract me off or on. However, most of the time it will be next to my computer so maybe it won't be that much help after all. Hated to give Apple any of my money but they had what I needed.

Off to celebrate my birthday late and J's early.

See you tomorrow,
DL

No Date

Dear NSA...

I now see that Dropbox which I use as my cloud saver is open to you. I hope you enjoy reading the manuscripts of my novels. All suggestions for making them better are gratefully accepted.

You can also see from my financial records that when I was paying US taxes, they matched my records, although my paltry little income compared to people like Jamie and Leonard are almost embarrassing in their smallness.

Also you will see much of what is there is credit union reporting and writing about co-operatives which are a much better financial system than the out of control capitalism you support. Just think about the concept of employees being decently paid without being gouged by exec salaries, members who are the customers getting a fair deal. That should make the oligarchs who now run the US laugh at such silly ideas. Of course media doesn't cover these success stories.

Well I'll be off grid for a while. If you want to help me finish the WOCCU issue, that would be really, really nice. I'm feeling pressured with that one. I'll be at the Indian restaurant, buying a filter tip for my pen, a gift bag for my housemate's birthday, and picking up my mammogram from last Dec. to show the hospital for my regular check up. Oh yes, and I need a new hair dryer too.

Hope you enjoy your day. I'm planning to enjoy mine.

Yours truly,

DL

Dear NSA...

I haven't written but I've been online writing my credit union newsletter. Three issues written in two days. I've done two from the WOCCU conference in Australia. Wish I was there. It is so exciting to see so many leaders of financial institutions that but their member needs first. That really must scare you to think of, dear NSA, how co-ops are so democratic, fail less, etc.

Tomorrow heading up to Geneva. Looking forward to some time with J and a couple of meals where we can catch up. Rick has lots of work too, so peek through our webcams and wave.

L ove
DL

July 30

Good morning NSA...

Back in Geneva and loved seeing the lake first thing even if it is rainy. Did you ever think how much happier y'all would be if you spent the time gazing at the water instead of wanting to know what everyone was doing?

Anyway today is a writing day. You'll see my face in the webcam most of the day. Except when we go to Mikado for sushi.

Do you want me to bring you some.

L ove

DL