"It's the same nodule from three years ago," The doctor who was running a sonar thingie over where my right breast had once been, said. She didn't see any change.
A tsunami of relief swamped my body. "I've been terrified since the other doctor three months ag, said there was something she wanted to check in three months. Than she disappeared before I could find out what.
As a writer, my imagination is always in overdrive and I thought the worse.
I've survived breast cancer twice and thought I'd done a pretty good job of facing each glitch helped by a friend and then my new husband.
There were times, I even found chemo fun with the camaraderie between the nurses and other patients. The after effect was less so, but again my husband and I made the time as meaningful as possible.
As for the radiation, it was an opportunity to visit Bern five times and meet the doctor who developed a heat/zap treatment. He spoke seven languages fluently, and each session included great conversation.
Just because I made the cancer something positive twice, I did not want to go through it again. I worried that it would mean I would not be able to spend three weeks at Christmas with my daughter after not seeing her in person for two years. As good as FB live messaging is, you can't hug a laptop like you can your kid.
And I didn't want to put my husband through another care taking role.
Nights when I couldn't sleep, I picture nasty little cancer cells moving from my right breast into other parts of my body and setting up a home.
I told the doctor how scared I had been. She was another international, Swiss and Cameroon and beautiful enough to grace any magazine cover or runway. We shared how it was a blessing to wade in and out of other cultures.
Time was up. As I dressed, she apologized for my fear. "We don't want to do that," she said.
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