To hug or not to hug

 

Handshake?

Two-cheek kiss?

Three-cheek kiss?

Hug?

Living in two countries with friends from many countries what is the best way to politely greet a friend, acquaintance, colleague? 

Business greetings are the easiest. A handshake. Works internationally. 

Then it gets tricky.

Swiss friends are a three-cheek kiss although after 36-years here I'm never sure whether to start on my right or left or theirs.

Then we transfer to the south of France and we lose one kiss. It takes a couple of days to not go in for that third kiss. I kinda hang out, lips a-pucker.

And the reverse is true on returning to Switzerland. The kissee angles in for that third kiss while I'm backing away as if I was disturbed by their bad breath. 

There was the time with a group in Florida who did the two-cheek kiss, probably started by one of the women who had visited France. Those were mostly air kisses. I suspect some of the women were checking the label sewn into the neck of whatever the kissee was wearing. 

I didn't come from a huggy family. As an adult I had a friend who "gave good hugs," which captured every needed emotion and made me grateful for all the hugs then and in my future.

Another friend, an anthropologist who was six feet plus, would come at you, arms open and engulf you. My daughter, until she was a teenager, would back up. Hugged by my friend meant no matter what life was good at that exact moment. Decades later, having lost our friend, both my daughter and myself would love to have one of her hugs.

A Swiss couple, neighbors in France, gives up the three-cheek kiss in France for the two but not when we meet in Switzerland when its three. They've evolved into huggers. Number of cheek kisses aren't important anymore.

Men hug too sometimes. I notice usually men give a double pat on the back during a hug. Frenchmen will do a double cheek kiss.

I researched the psychology of hugging for this blog. According to scientists our brains react to touch positively. Certain hormones jump into action at touch: oxytocin, dopamine, serotine.

I'm a happy hugger no matter where. And you?