Cryptoquotes, partings, endings and beginnings

This morning the lake is dark blue and the colours are early-fall intense.

I start the last page of cryptoquotes in the book my daughter gave me. I became that  puzzle fan decades ago when my secretary at NFPA and I did the one in the newspaper each morning during our coffee break.

I look up the stairs to where my daughter is still sleeping. This is her last full day here before she goes to the US.

A tsunami of sadness washes over me.

I know she needs a job.

I know she needs to live in her own place.

However, I've been spoiled the last two years while she was on this side of the pond earning her masters. Being able to have have her a short Easyjet, train ride or a yell away has been a luxury that billions of dollars wouldn't match.

She has a lot of work ahead of her: finding a place to live and a new job are her first priorities. She's got two degrees and ten years experience in her field. Maybe she'll end up in Boston, maybe DC, maybe someplace else. Someday she may even be able to find a job here, a wish I wish for not just because she would be closer, but because of the social contract.

I don't know when I'll be able to see her again which makes me saddest.  Granted Chuck Schurmer's proposed law that anyone who renounces won't be allowed into the US has stayed in committee. I knew that possibility existed when I made that decision. When she does find work the US gives such little vacation that her coming here provide fleeting moments together. If I can enter the states, I will do what we did before she went to Scotland for her Masters. I'll go there and hunker in.

I once asked her how long she could stand me for. She said, "Three months." And although I believe the saying fish and guests stink after three days, I was in the habit of going for anything up to a month before she took the hiatus to get her advanced degree. Mothers/daughters aren't guests.

She has challenges and adventures ahead of her. I know how competent she is, and she is doing what all adult children should do--live her life. I am over here doing what all parents of grown children should do--live my life. That we like each other, enjoy each other's company, have fun with everything from Scooby silliness, to watching a TV program together, going to a restaurant, laughing at some memory and much, much more is a bonus.

My daughter was the best thing in my life--and I've had/have a wonderful, rich life--with more things in it than anyone could possibly hope for, so forgive my greediness in this.

Realistically, I expect a new Cryptoquote book in the mail at Christmas, one of her traditional presents to me. I also do the puzzles on line.

We will Skype, email, sms. We will still share jokes and events as we do what we should be doing, living our lives.

This is not an ending. It's a beginning. We are both good at beginnings.