Confronting my racisim

I have been a card-carrying feminist all my life. Yet, I realized that certain attitudes are so ingrained they are automatic.

For years I lived across from Harvard Medical School. In the same block was Sparr's Drug store (photo above) where we filled out prescriptions, bought our Sunday papers ate lunch at the counter topped off with a vanilla soday and chocolate soda.

We were on a first name basis with the owner and his staff. 

Because of their proximity to the Med School, they sold equipment for the doctors and medical students.

One day as I waited  behind a couple, I saw Mr. Sparr bring out a stethoscope. I assumed it was for the man. It was for the woman. I was tempted to hand in my feminist card and get more training.

Sexism and racism have many things in common including to be a woman or have black and brown skin identifies the person to their gender and race.

I talked about this experience with my good friend and artist, a black man. We had often discussed racism and he did point out that I was a white woman whom he could speak freely with and I would understand. He had laughed when he said he had a client that couldn't say the word black even discussing it as a wood-burning store's color.

When my daughter wanted to join the track team, I said no. They had to practice in a bad part of the city, a black section. Getting home after training would be too dangerous for a blond, blue-eyed teenager.

I talked to my artist friend, again saying I felt guilty. He laughed at me. "I wouldn't let my son go there," he said. His son was the captain of the Boston Latin football team, my daughter's school. His son was anything but delicate.

My artist friend explained that part of being truly non racist was to recognize the bad as well as the good in the person, to judge a person on their character and actions as well as their appearance.

Being black doesn't make you a criminal. Something many police in America seem to have forgotten, but I do understand that sometimes society has imprinted so deeply that our negative reactions are automatic. We need to forgive ourselves for our failings but we must try to erase them with every breath we take.

Racism is not acceptable. Full stop.