In Sickness and Health

Two old men I know are caring for their aging and sick wives. I don't think of them as old men. I've known one since he was a teenager. The other man I met when he was in his early 40s. I still see one roaming the halls of my high school and the other sitting behind his desk.

I like and respect both men for many different reasons. They are kind, considerate and try and do what is right.

I was admittedly a marriage cynic. Most marriages that I saw from the outside and that looked unhappy, I would say, thank God, it isn't me. A few would look good and I would still say, thank God it isn't me.

When I saw how one man took care of his ailing wife, I thought I would never have that security. That did not make me want to get married. What did was when someone from the past came back in my life. All changed. It wasn't fear of being alone and ill, but that he was funny, a writer, kind, considerate and a 1000 other things that made the good life I had even better.

Our marriage vows did not contain the in sickness and in health clause, but when I developed cancer he did more than I would expect any human, husband or not, to do. Fortunately, this passed and we could get on with enjoying normal life.

Back to the old men.

I don't know what their marriages were like. No one can see inside. I'm sure in the decades they spent together there were some difficult times external or internal, most probably both. But they made it through.

It doesn't matter how many men do not stand by their women. These two are doing it with grace and caring.

It is the way it should be.