Pussyfooting

 

When my husband and I began our relationship with the idea of making it permanent, I suggested a "No Pussyfooting Rule." We were about to face enough challenges in combing our lives especially when it involved two continents.

Also, having been happily single for 41 years, I did not need to deal with secrets or undercurrents. I knew that this had to be a two-way street.

Years ago when my daughter was young each school year we would agree on her rules. The last one was always, "If you do something wrong, tell your mother before she finds out." It worked pretty well, so why wouldn't it work in a marriage?

It does. Each of us may start a confession with "You know what your stupid husband (or wife) did?" followed by a confession. Most times it comes with a possible solution.

It isn't just when we do something dumb, but also about how we are feeling physically and mentally.

I will admit that I prefer when he doesn't pussyfoot than when I have to confess.

Today was one of those times. My five-year cancer check had been changed and rechanged. I have the bad habit of opening my mail at the end of a period that can be anywhere from 1-4 weeks. The hospital had sent several letters about the change. I hate that we do that because we set appointments for whe we are in Geneva and if they change it while we are away I can miss an appointment.

However the 21st was right for three different procedures and a consultation starting at what I thought I was 8 a.m. Because to traffic on the quai we left the house at 7 a.m. for what should be a 15-20 minute drive.

It seems the schedule had been juggled again and I had misread times. We later discovered another lettr with another change had not arrived.

My husband's frustration with my not looking at my mail regularly and making mistakes because of it came to the surface, not in yelling, but a calm "From now on, I'm opening your mail."

We did negotiate that I would now open and read my mail when it arrives. Things like not realizing my new debit cards had arrived would be a thing of the past. I'm not sure if it will help with hospital appointments which are now further and further apart.

I will also admit, that I much prefer him to make confessions than me, but fair is fair.