10 ans déjà

 

The French often do 10 ans déjà programs...10 years already for when someone dies to mark the anniversary of their death.

I had a t0 years already moment at the final street ball of the season in Argelès. But it had nothing to do with death.

For the 30+ years I've been coming to Argelès-sur-mer the summer street dances have been part of my life in July and August. All ages and all abilities dance to all kinds of music.

It's sitting with friends, sipping wine and even dancing a bit.

My 10 years moment was when Rick and I were dancing. He pointed it out it was 10 years already. I had used the dance to show him to my friends, who were used to my I want to be single for the rest of my life stance. After all it had worked well for me for 41 years.

"How will they know we are together?" he'd asked earlier in the day.

"When I hold your hand."

That night a decade ago I had no idea where our relationship was going. We were thinking that when he traveled for work, he might be able to swing by either Argèles or Geneva for a few days. 

I knew how delightful our conversations were. Although we'd met many decades before, we'd lost track of each other. I had been astonished to get an e-mail telling me he was in Geneva and would I like a cup of coffee. Luckily I was and we ended up having a fondue and checking up on years of activities.  Thus, I'd invited him to France to see my Argelès Nest and to finish catching up.

The days flew by. And when he left, he had decided to move whether I wanted him to or not. I did want him to.

Little did we know then all we would go through dealing with visas, cancer, sharing a business, finding places to live besides the daily making meals, changing sheets--all the things that make life a life. The other parts of our lives together might be running out to see the sunset over the mountains, discovering Scotland, holding hands as we walked down the street and doing the small things that people who love each other do.

As we danced around the square, his arms around me felt as good or maybe even better than they had 10 years before. We've settled into a loving couple, each trying to help the other find what they want. We put up with each other's idiosyncrasies, mostly amusing and every now and then annoying.  

The music stopped and we walked back to our table. Only one of the couples who had been there so long ago were there. We reminisced a bit. 6

I am grateful for the last ten years and for finding my soul mate.