Thank you in marriage

 

Should a wife thank her husband for helping with chores, was the basis of a recent lively discussion. There were two schools of thought.

• Yes...he has helped
• No...he is part of the household, he isn't helping
  

I'm of the yes school taking exception to the word "helped" and not just because a woman is in charge of the house. And part of me says, he's part of the household.

My husband and I share household chores.  I make beds, do dishes, laundry and clean. He makes beds, does dishes, laundry and cleans.

I do the ironing most of the time, he takes care of the car all of the time.

We share cooking. My days are Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday afternoon. His are Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday morning.

Either of us can decide "to cook" at any local restaurant, to a point the wait staff of a restaurant we frequent might say, "Oh, it's your day to cook, Rick," even when it was my day.

Both of us thank the other of what is done regularly.

Why?

Because whoever "helped" contributed to the smooth running of our household. Their efforts frees the other one to continue writing, reading, watching something on television, take a nap, whatever. When two of us do the chores, it gives us time to spend together in doing non-chore things.

I can be OCD about some things, and I try to  control it when he does whatever I would do differently. Years ago where I worked, four women colleagues and I were talking. One complained how her husband folded laundry. Everyone verbally jumped on her.

"He folds laundry. You should thank your lucky stars," one of my colleagues said. That colleague considered herself lucky when her husband carried his glass, leaving hers on the table, to the kitchen .

Of course, there are times depending on work schedules, illness, social commitments that one will shoulder more of the responsibilities. That shift can be on either spouse. That should provoke another thank you.

Thank yous say "I recognize what you are doing and I appreciate it." It shows the action was NOT taken for granted. It never hurts to accompany the thank you with a kiss.

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