Losing People - Part 4

 

Mau Mau- Cheating across Europe

Mau Mau is a card game popular in some European countries. Played with two decks, the goal is to rid yourself of cards. Those caught with cards add up the value to see who is the bigger loser. It is possible to keep score over many hands.

My ex-husband, a trumpet player, was with the 82 Army Band in Stuttgart and I played it with Rosi and Gary. He was a trumpet player from the mid West. His wife was a drop-dead beautiful German girl. On holiday in rented rooms from an Italian family on Lake Como we played Mau Mau every evening, men against the women. 

The women quickly pulled ahead. The men took to hiding cards, although most were discovered in pockets, under pillows and books which we ladies added to the tally. They were positive we were cheating too, but could never figure out how.

Rosi and I developed a great friendship. One night when we had a girls night out we got home very late. We made up the story about flying to Frankfurt and back. Two days later guilt made us confess that we'd really gone to the restaurant in the TV tower. 

 

"Let's make it true," we decided. When we flew to Frankfurt, fog grounded return flights.We took a train back. The teasing was creative not from just our husbands but the rest of the band. 

 

Rosi and I had an adventure by driving her to the U.S. embassy in Munich from Stuttgart so she could get her VISA for the U.S. as the wife of an American. At the time, men waited on the outskirts to lead people through the city...a human GPS. Rosi scrunched up in the not-quite backseat of my Triumph Spitfire to allow the long-legged German room to direct us. Even after the army we stayed in touch visiting them in D.C. and Florida.

After my divorce, Gary invited my baby daughter and I to live with them. He'd take care of us, he said. It was appreciated but not necessary. 

Later when I was trying to get a business going they invited me to go camping with them in Colorado where they then lived. I had no money. Ten minutes after hanging up, Gary called to tell me my ticket was waiting for me at Logan Airport. He'd meet me Friday morning at the Colorado Springs Airport. The camping, even seeing the bear much too close, was wonderful.

I continued to see them from time to time once in Kentucky and in Colorado regularly when I had business there. No more Mau Mau but still lots of sharing and laughter.

Then we lost touch. They had moved and moved again and I had done the same.

I missed them. I looked and called places through information where I thought they might be and talked to several Gary Smiths, but not my Gary Smith.

Then in 2013, there was a Facebook message. "Gary Smith wants to be your friend."$

We met up in Nice. They were on a four-month world cruise. My second husband could finally meet the people I'd told him so much about. They could meet Rick2.

We had no time for Mau Mau, but sitting with them while their ship was in port was not that much different than the last time we had met. Maybe we were older, but not very wrinkled. Rosi was still drop-dead beautiful.

They picked up from my blog about my cancer and were emotionally supportive. 

It was through the blog, that Gary finally discovered how Rosi and I had cheated at Mau Mau. The men had suspected but there was nothing they could discover. Rick1 never knew.

We had used verbal clues. When a certain card was played the person who played the card could select the suit. Best to name a suit one's partner needed. She and I signaled with a sentence, the letter of the first word matched the suit needed such as D in Don't do anything rash diamonds or C was careful please. We varied the words. Before we played Rosi and I would decide if we would use German or English card names for the first letter. Every sentence would be different so the men could determine no pattern. 

In her 80s Rosi chose medical and legal suicide. Gary wrote me about the preparation. He followed her not long after but not before mailing me all her beautiful sweaters and scarves. She wanted me to have them. Gary included a broach, the first thing he had ever bought her at the PX one floor under where the band slept and rehearsed. I passed it onto their daughter.

What I keep and treasure are the many memories from eating Vier-Frucht-Tarte at a café after Rosi and I visited the art museum, Gary showing me how to shoot with a bow and arrow, sitting on the couch laughing about the differences in our feet, our two daughters being potty-trained together and hundreds of other flashbacks.

Will I ever get used to people I care about disappearing from my life? Will I continue to want to call via phone or computer or send an email? 

No, no and no. 

What it does do is to remind me to treasure the events that in weeks, months or maybe years will be new memories and never to take friendship casually but something to treat as special as it is.