Funeral Wisdom

When I described a funeral I went to on Wednesday of a mutual friend via email to a woman who knew us both but couldn't attend, she wrote back wisely about funerals in general, "Usually better than weddings as you have no expectations that you will enjoy yourself and surprisingly there is always something to smile about."

There are such mixed feelings about death. When someone had been ill and suffering, there is the relief that the person is no longer hurting along with a bit of anger that the person had to suffer in the first place. Sometimes there is a feeling of sorrow for things  that can never be said, done or undone.

There is the memory of all the other funerals and losses over the years that can be triggered by the smell of a certain flower or a song.

This funeral of a friend brought back my Dad's funeral. He died right after Christmas and without the release of the body for several days because of the holiday, my cousins who had arrived from all over the country had to stay several extra days. My aunt hosted meal after meal, and it became a family reunion which would have been wonderful fun had it not been for the reason we were together. There was more laughter than tears.

And after everyone had left after the burial and the food, my sister, my mom, my best friend and Iwent to a Chinese funeral. We ended up being philosophical, then silly, which led to great laughter. Anyone watching would think this was a girls' night out, not four women in mourning. Had my Dad been there, he would have been laughing along with us.

So maybe the mixed emotions help the feeling of loss.

However, no matter what the emotions, one that will never be there is liking the loss.