I blame

98% of the time time I accept blame for my faults.

I don't accept blame for not being able to swim.

I blame my mother, who when we were at the beach, acted at any moment if I got near the water, a tidal wave would sweep me off to Europe. I wanted to go to Europe but not by wave--plane or boat would have been and are still preferred.

I blame my ex-husband, Rick I. He said, "If someone throws you in the water, you'll swim."

He did.

I didn't.

In the 1970s I made a deal with a friend--she learn to drive, I would learn to swim. She got her license. After 12 weeks of private lessons, I still couldn't put my head under water, and one foot was always on the bottom of the pool. The instructor told me, I was wasting his time and my money, albeit (take that Rick and Julia) he said it laughingly. Except for failure and terror, we'd had an amusing time.

Thus I decided in my lifetime that it would be alright if I

• Never read Ulysses
• Never learned to swim

This year I found myself in a pool twice once in:

• Malta with Julia
• Andorra with Rick II (who didn't throw me in the pool)

After confessing I couldn't swim over coffee with my former French teacher come friend, she offered to teach me.

Today was the day. 

Dum da de dum da de dum de dum de dum (imagine funeral dirge)... Off to St. Cyprien plage.

Marina first had me wade, then get wet and sit down. She gentled me into taking my feet off the seabed. My face got wet (until this week, I wouldn't even get my face wet in the shower.) She was far less successful getting me to lay back in the water.

It was more than I've ever been able to do. There will be no Olympic swimming gold medals in my future but maybe I'll be able to be in the water without being really scared.

Two more things...

1. I still don't plan to read Ulysses
2. She never corrected my French pronunciation.