two by two maybe maybe not

Thoughts on marriage

I was single for some 40 years and loved it. I'd see an unhappy married couple, and think, "Thank God, that isn't me."

I'd see a happy couple and think, "Thank God, that isn't me."

Many of my friends who are single, including those who have been happily married and are now widowed or those whose good marriages turned underwonderful and ended in divorce say, like I used to say, "I don't want a man in my life." Others would like a man on a limited basis but not underfoot 24/7.

I also realised that so many of my single friends from the last 40 years have married recently. I recently reviewed a book Holding out for a Hero about marriage after 40 by Lesley Lawson Boetz for those that see marriage as a goal. It was never one of mine.

I'll admit I adored my first husband, who existed in my imagination. We married because living together wasn't an option partially because of the time, and partially because my mother would have killed me. She wasn't too happy that I married him either, but that's another story.

Marriage in Europe has nothing to do with religion. The only legal marriage is sanctioned by the state and has to do with rights and responsibilities. A church wedding can be held if a couple wants to put a spiritual spin on the relationship. That is why I don't have a problem with gay marriage. It's basically a business deal which can help or hinder depending on the circumstances. I used to joke gays had a right to be as unhappily married as straight people. I'd see a bride and think, "another girl gone bad."

I guess I'm not a romantic when it comes to marriage.

When I worked in the US, I dreaded when any of my staff became engaged. That diamond did something to a woman's brain taking her from an efficient staff member into a creature obsessed with flowers, shoe colors of bridesmaid dressers, music and menus. The only medication to stop this brain illness was the wedding ring when the woman returned to her normal self.

Rick did change some of that -- to the shock of many of my friends and to my shock. I'm not sure on the shock meter who registered higher them or me.

He took my wonderful, wonderful single life and made it even better. Don't know how he did it, but he did.

So if there's another Noah's Ark, I guess he and I can walk hand in hand up to the deck, but I also hope every one I know who is still single can find a place on the boat too.