The caveman of the Fat Kitty Klan

Once upon a time there was a caveman named Ulk. He was a member of the Fat Kitty Klan. The Klan lived in a valley.

Ulk was a hunter, not a great hunter, but one that could contribute some mammoth meat from time to time to the good of his Klan. Sometimes he hunted with his Klan, sometimes he went out alone. He also helped plant some seeds and the plants he shared with his Klan.

One day he saw a saber tooth tiger and he followed it out of his valley into another.

Before Ulk could kill the tiger, he saw this beautiful cave woman. Her name was Clena. He fell in love at first sight and she fell in love with him. He decided to join her Klan, The Have Enough Klan, even if it was far less powerful than his Klan.

They had three beautiful children and were living very happily. Ulk went out to hunt with and for his clan. He planted seeds and shared those with his new Klan. They all did their share of maintaining the cave...

Until...

The Fat Kitty Klan had destroyed much of their valley with over hunting. They needed more food. One of the chiefs remembered Ulk. They knew where he was because he had visited his parents back at his old cave and showed off his beautiful wife and lovely children.

They sent a message to Ulk. "You are still and always will be a Fat Kitty Klan member. Therefore, a portion of anything you catch or grow must be sent back to us. Not only that a portion of everything any of your children catches or grows must come to us, because as your children it doesn't matter that they only spent five suns in our valley, they are still members of the Fat Kitty Klan and they owe us a portion of whatever they have for all their lives even if they never come here again."

Ulk didn't feel as if he still belonged to his old Klan. He was part of the new Klan. His children didn't even remember their visit to his old Klan.

The chief of the Have Enough Klan also received a message from the chief. The message said "If you don't make Ulk give us part of what he catches and grows, we will have to come and take 30% of everything in your klan catches and grow. We have bigger spears than you so you must obey us."

The chief liked Ulk. They loved his family, but they couldn't afford to lose 30% of all their food. Still he had the rest of the Klan members to think of. So with great sadness, he had to tell Ulk and his family to pay or leave.

Thus the family had a choice, go back to the Fat Kitty Klan or go into the wilderness. Cleana didn't want to go to the place where they had threatened her husband, her children, her Klan and her food supply.

They talked it over and decided to go into the wilderness and start over and with great sadness, they packed their spears, their furs and their flints they left in search of safety from the Fat Kitty Klan.

(A FATCA allegory. I can't call it a Fairy Tale but it isn't. There's no happy ending for the 7 million American expats being thrown out their banks all over the world.)