Hybrid feminist

I've been a card-carrying feminist for over six decades. I've marched, lobbied, written on the issues. I've fought my way up a corporate ladder for mixed motives: income, challenge, the work itself.

From the beginning one thing bothered me...the idea that women to be a TRUE feminist needed to follow a certain path. Housewives were put down, women of color were less than white women, Muslim women shouldn't wear the hijab, etc. Women needed to be more like men, hate men, not accept certain courtesies from men such as holding a door open.

I call myself a hybrid feminist because while fighting strongly for women's rights, I also feel being forced into a mold was exchanging one prison for another, unless I let myself in the cell and could leave any time I wanted.

Professionally as long as I was writing -- marketing, pr and/or journalism I was happy. Despite being told I must get an MBA, I didn't want to spend my precious life studying accounting and related subjects. Although I would have loved to be a VP and finally was shortly before moving to Europe where I sacrificed my professional track for living in Switzerland, it was the right decision.

My grandmother was a professional homemaker. She loved her work. The one time as a single mom I stayed home with my daughter, she asked me to go back to work. Seems I was calmer and found more time for her. Go figure.

Living as a single adult for years I cared about my home: how it looked, was it financially sound, were meals healthy, etc.? I never saw this as anti-feminist but creating my environment. That more women care about this then men, says more about the individuals who should do what works for them. I guess in the strict feminist code, it made me a hybrid. I can live with that.

Now that I've married very late in life my husband and I share chores. He doesn't help -- he shares and I adore him for it. I have had to let go some of the systems I've used over the years to make things easier because he does things differently, but I might still explain why I move this around to preserve shelf life. Saying that, there are things he does better.

I never asked my husband if he were a feminist but his kindness to both men and women plus his observations tend to make me think he is. Maybe this blog will make him reveal it.

The word hybrid should be used on many things, especially in today's divisive world. Say one thing and you are a crazy socialist, say the opposite and you're a crazy conservative. It shuts down communication. Why people can't pick and choose among multi-philosophies and ideas, I'll never understand.

Women came a long way since my mother was fired when she married because she didn't need a job now that she had a husband. We still haven't total equality throughout society. Until we do, I need to retain my feminism but much of who I am is just who I am.