Sugar and Spice - Chapter Twenty-Three

 

Chapter Twenty-three

October 21 Wednesday Morning

Amanda Lander’s Home

Beacon Hill

Boston, Massachusetts

 

 WHEN HEIDI WANDERED into the kitchen, still in her bathrobe, she found Olga making pancakes.

“Want one?” Olga’s German accent had long since disappeared and her TH was a full TH not just a T.

Heidi didn’t want any.

Her stomach seemed locked against anything she might force into it. She said yes anyway. “Today I’d like you to take Amanda into Boston, wherever she’d like to go. Take her to lunch as well.”

“My pleasure.”

Two hours later when Heidi heard the car leave, she rushed to Amanda’s room. Her daughter had made the bed and hung up her clothes or put them in the hamper depending.

The house was quiet. Vernon would not be back until Saturday morning or maybe even Sunday, depending on flights. The woman, Gina, who did the heavy cleaning, only came Monday and Friday.

Opening the computer, she went to Word rather than look at more e-mails. She had no idea why she did that, but she was sorry she had on one hand and the part of her that likes to deal with reality over false hopes was glad she did.

Amanda had folders for all her subjects. She had folders for things she liked: clothes, boy bands, ballet. She had a folder for each of her friends: Juliana, Emma, Gloria. Her daughter certainly was organized, far beyond what would expect for a nine-year-old, but testing at four, six and eight had shown that Amanda’s IQ was way above average. When her creativity was tested, it was found that her imagination was high.

Heidi knew she had two hours to look through her daughter’s files before Olga would bring the child home.

The folder labelled Clay was at the top of the list of her friends alphabetically. That was the little boy that the girls were accused of wanting to kill, a concept she still found ridiculous. She knew all Amanda’s friends, little girls, cute, giggly, certainly not as potential murderers. She opened it to read several partial letters. For some reason Amanda had used a handwriting like font.

“Dear Mommy and Daddy…

I’m sorry I can’t go on.”

 

Dear Dad…

Please tell Mum I’m sorry.

Note: I wish I knew what he called his parents. It would make the notes better.

 

I don not want to go on. Pleas understand.

I love you both,

Clay

Heidi felt her stomach reject the half pancake that Olga had served her.. She rushed into Amanda’s bathroom. She made sure she left it spotless. There was no way she could explain to her daughter why she’d thrown up in her toilet rather than her own.

Back at the laptop she looked at the list of subjects. Amanda’s sense of organization had always been there. At two she put her toys away, but in an order that varied. Sometimes by size and for a while by color. If Heidi changed the order, Amanda would put them back the way she had them and tell her mother to leave them alone, always adding a please.

Heidi opened another folder that was labeled things to do or find out.

·         how long does it take to bleed to death from slit wrists.

·         Is it true that it takes 4-10 minutes to die when hanging.

·         ???how would I lift Clay. What is his room like? Is there a place to hang him from? How would I get into the room? Would any of my friends help me.

·         Check out https://www.thoughtco.com/list-of-poisons-609279 How would I get Clay to take the poison.

·         Sleeping pills…I could use my Mom’s. Push Clay in front of a car? How? Where? Could someone see me?

·         Suicide by throat slitting. Internet says it’s rare, but probably what I can do myself.  How would I get into Clay’s bedroom. What about his parents being in the house?

·         Could I get my friends to hold Clay while I slit his throat?

Heidi’s first reaction, after reading the list, was to call her husband. Never in Amanda’s nine years had Vernon thought that Amanda was responsible for anything wrong. The few tantrums she’d had he described as showing spirit. When money had gone missing from Heidi’s pocketbook, Vernon said it was probably the new cleaning woman. Heidi found extra money among Amanda’s underwear, but Vernon thought it was from her grandmother’s birthday gift. Heidi couldn’t prove it wasn’t and chastised herself for mistrusting her daughter.

How many times had she found Amanda on her father’s lap twirling a button on his shirt, staring into his eyes and claiming innocence. She’d let it go.

There was nothing about wanting the information for an alleged play. Other folders included a Christmas wish list, her favorite singers with brief biographies and the name of their hits, pictures of clothes she’d like.

Almost as bad was the list of people Amanda hated. In caps and in red there was the word Mummy.

Heidi went to her office. Please, please, she thought, let me have a hard drive. There were two in the back of her supply closet.

She went back to Amanda’s room and copied all of Amanda’s files onto one hard drive and all her e-mails onto the other, preserving the evidence.