Hug histories

I did not come from a huggy family or even a touchy one.

My first encounter with hugginess was after my divorce when I moved in with a work colleague and her family. They became almost like in-laws. Their daughter became my best friend, and boy could she hug. We joked it was because she had breasts. We joked when I hugged her she had to imagine breasts.

When my daughter was little many days started with EMCs -- Early Morning Cuddles. We would both hug her at the same time planting loud kisses, one of us on each cheek. My daughter grew up as a hugger.

My late friend Barbara...when she hugged you, you knew you were hugged. About six feet tall she would come at you arms open and engulf you in her warmth.

May housemate for 11 years has a son, another person who gives good hug. With his arms around me, I gain the strength to battle whatever I need to battle and find the peace that escaped me pre-hug.

Hugs are not common in the Franco-lingual world. Two or three kisses, alternating cheeks is the mode depending on the area. This is more routine than signs of affection or encouragement.

When I spent a month in an uppity Florida community there were cheek kisses, but people often used it to check the label on the back of your blouse. This was confided to me by two transplanted Yankees independently of each other.

Cheek kissing and hugging are now forbidden by the Covid-19 virus. Sadly, it is wise. As much as I love to be hugged and to hug many of my friends when they need it and sometimes when they don't, it is not worth the risk.

One French friend, who spent a couple of decades in the States, is doing a countdown until hugs are safe when we are scheduled to come out of lockdown, although President Macron will move the May 11th  date if the virus isn't under control.

Probably cheek kissing and hugging and even handshakes may take time to come back into vogue if they are not gone forever or reserved to immediate family members. My husband and I still hug. But the six-foot rule is hard to apply when two people share a bed and hold hands while watching DVDs, Netflix, news, etc. Thank goodness.

I've seen people who pass far apart on the street mime a hug and cheek kiss. Some do the oriental bow. Others use their hands to form a heart. Sad to live in a hugless world.