Alternatives

A Corona Virus Post

When I was 18, it bothered me I could no longer be a policewoman in Colorado because of age. I didn't want to be a policewoman in Colorado:  I wanted the choice.

There were lots of career opportunities shut off to me. Physicist for one, because I was math challenged. The list is too long even for thousands and thousands of blogs.

The lockdown is another example of my resenting not having alternatives

I love staying at home. I love puttering around my flat, reading, writing, watching stuff on various media. Sometimes when our travel schedule went crazy, even if I wanted to go to the destination, part of me wanted to chain myself to an immovable object within my flat.

Still there was a choice. I could stay home or leave. And I wanted to go to whatever destination we'd planned. I was happy to have alternatives.

Now the leave part of my life is limited to an hour, dog walking, exercise, medical stuff within one kilometer.

• I can't go to my other home in Switzerland.
• I can't walk around the corner to the movies
• I can't sit at La Noisette, Mille et Une, L'Hostalet, drink tea, people watch, chat with friends
• I can't decide to eat at a restaurant
• Although I hate to shop, I need a nozzle for the kitchen sink. No stores are open. I can't shop.

And again, the list goes on and on.

The child in me wants to lay on the floor, kick my heels and cry because I don't have the alternatives.

The adult in me says:

• I have all the food I need and more time to cook some favorites
• I have more time to write
• The flat is warm and cozy
• When it rains, the water makes music on the skylight
• My husband and dog are here for cuddling and conversation (Sherlock does have a limited vocabulary of barks)
• Only once person I know has died so far
• I am not in a refugee camp
• I am not on a boat escaping war with not much future ahead even if I survive
• I have all my limbs
• No bombs have fallen on me

I laugh at my silliness of lack of appreciation. But still, a tiny, tiny part of me wonders if Colorado would like a 77 year old policewoman. I'd be great at undercover in old age homes.