A White Woman Looks at Success

 

I'm a white woman by accident.

My father's sperm, which contained the white DNA of generations that we know of going back to 1640 Nova Scotia swam to meet my mother's egg. Her known white DNA goes back to the English ship the Blessing also in the early 1600s.

There was luck that I had the parents I did. I was loved. I was raised in a middle class household that valued education, books, right and wrong, manners and creativity.

Sure - they may have been overly proud of being WASPs and Republicans and didn't like FDR and worse his wife, but they also believed in democracy and treating all people equally.

I was given opportunities by the accident of my birth. The first was a private school in West Virginia, run by a mega bitch of a teacher that in two years covered four years of studies. We discovered that when we returned to Massachusetts. I was put in the third grade which was boooooorrring.

I had a mother who had her own business before becoming a journalist giving me a role model unheard of the 1950s. She was also anti-feminist thinking if she could do it anyone could totally ignoring the reality of the society around her. I combined the idea of doing what I wanted despite society around  me.

I had a chance to be a cub reporter, my dream. 

By marrying too young, I ended up in Europe with an Army musician husband. To finish upon my return, the Massachusetts state university system gave me an excellent education at an affordable price.

Despite a divorce and being a single mom I've had incredible luck that has let me write and publish books and live in a number of European countries. If I'd been born rich would I have had more success, a better university, better opportunities? 

Probably, but would I have taken advantage of them? Who knows?

If I had been born black, would the same opportunities have come my way. There are some incredible people who despite their color have archived success, far greater than mine. It would have been harder.

And what is success? Is measurement in setting a goal and reaching it work wise, family wise, knowledge wise ... ? 

Success varies with each person, but there is a certain cultural norm that many blindly follow. I wear this brand and not another. I drive a VW or a Tesla, all arbitrary and people buy into those norms. In fact status symbols are mainly bullshit.

So, as a white woman, I have had more opportunities than a black woman only because I'm white. I am not superior or inferior no matter how the societies I move in may look at me.  

My life is the result of an accident because of one brave sperm and one come-hither egg that put me in a time and place that allowed me to take advantage of opportunities.