He's back

Friends joke we are the most romantic couple in Argelès, although now there is a rival couple. Considering how much I like the woman and how pleased I am that she has found happiness, we will happily share the title.

We were in danger of losing the title not for any bad thing.

Although allegedly retired, Rick has many clients for projects he enjoys. Unfortunately several major projects all came due about the same time leaving him strapped for time. I wanted to support him the best I could. This is not to say, that it was bad. It was different for reasons beyond our control.

I am jealous of his ability to concentrate. I imagine when he's involved and I'd warn him that the world was ending, he would barely look up. I suspect he would still be working as the world lay crumbled at his feet. Sometimes a leaf against my office window will distract me. If he could give me a concentration transfusion, I'd hold my arm out in a second, I don't care how hard it is to find my veins.

When I break through he is almost all there with me. His attention when I had an emergency room (I'm fine) to the hospital was there. I feel badly I delayed his projects, but we did have books to read and time to talk and even laugh.

And he kept the romantic feeling more than alive when he and our florist appeared with this bouquet.

He met his deadlines a couple of days ago.

His next project was/is to visit his mother in the States, something, I encouraged with all my heart and soul. It made sense that I stay home with the dog, my decision. Yesterday, I hugged him goodbye as he left for the Barcelona airport.

Last night he returned just a few hours later. His flight had been cancelled, and he drove the two hours back home. He has rebooked for next week.

The morning I realized that without the pressure of deadlines, the old line of communication is there again. We shared a breakfast at LaNoisette. We chat as we did before the pressure.

It is hard to explain exactly the difference. I certainly don't want to be 100% in his mind or have him 100% in mine. I like that we each have independent interests, some of which we share verbally. If he ever gave up even one golf game because of me, I would be upset. His passion and ideas make me as happy if not happier than they do him.

In a couple it is impossible to have the same level of romance as when they are first together. Life becomes reality. Each person sees each not at their best. There's nothing romantic about watching your loved partner vomit or even stagger back from the bathroom at 3 a.m. Daily chores, unforeseen problems crop up and need to be dealt with. Certainly not as much fun as a romantic dinner, a play or even a walk holding hands but part of the building blocks in a marriage.

What is much better is the comfort of rolling over in bed and the sense of security that he's breathing, to be able to touch him and know all is right in my world (in today's crazy world all's right with the world is impossible).

After being happily single for over 40 years, it still amazes me some six years on, that I can connect to this man, the way I do. That he connects back is almost an electric current. Or maybe he connects and I respond. I don't understand the bond, but I celebrate it.

If this blog sounds like a complaint it is not. It is an observation.

I laid down to read and fell asleep a little while ago. When I woke, he had a box of memories he'd found some dating back to his childhood and he showed them to me. Those few moments on connectedness meant more to me than a jewel.