Pompeii vs. Mobile Phone

 

I do not deny that I hate phones, especially mobiles. I feel they are interruption of my life that cuts me off from life, experiences and people. It kills the here and now. It is a barrier between me and others.

When I picked up a new book, Haven't They Grown by Rachel Hannah, found in a Geneva kiosk those lovely places filled with books, on the first page, I read: "He's buried in his phone. I can't help thinking of it like that - as if he's stuck in the machine in his hand, unable to get out. Quite happy about it too."

It describes part of my marriage shown by an event that happened a few days ago.

Originally for my 80th birthday, I asked in place of a party, we visit Pompeii. With the July heat, we decided to postpone it until January, thinking that there would be less tourists. One thing, totally legitimate, after another kept us postponing the trip. Although, I've wanted to go since seventh grade when my Latin textbook talked of the city, we will probably never get there. 

I can live with that. I've filled several bucket lists in my lifetime more than any person should expect much less have.

Then a documentary came on television as my husband and I sat on the couch. He had the mobile in his hand (I wonder if that's why the German word for mobile is Handy). I tried to get him interested, but his eyes and fingers returned to the mobile so I gave up.

I know my husband uses the mobile for research for his work as a journalist. I know it's handy when we want to check something we are both watching. Its GPS when we travel is a miracle. On the other hand, I sometimes think that his hand will morph into a phone. 

The documentary was incredible with the different historians showing parts of the city and giving explanations that we would never have found if we'd been walking the cobbled streets.

However, if we had both been really there, we could have shared the experience. We could have shared it on this cold Geneva day in the warmth of our living room, by watching the documentary together. 

Instead, I went to Pompeii alone.  

I do believe in the overlapping circles for a marriage. There are interests that each person may have alone and some they share as a couple. I encouraged his love of golf, and because of forced golf lessons as a child, I speak golf and delighted in his pleasure as long as I didn't have to play. He humors my passion for all kinds of food. 

And there are so many things where we overlap that are a pleasure that I feel a bit annoyed at me that I was so annoyed that I went to Pompeii alone.