My title of this blog is expat writer but really I'm a repat having taken Swiss nationality.
I write a series of mysteries about a Third Culture Kid.
www.donnalanenelson.com and consider myself a Third Culture Adult or Third Culture Kid, the more often used term is someone who combines the cultures they have lived in but never being totally apart of any including the culture they came from.
Having lived in four countries over my lifetime I know adjustments can be difficult. I found this interesting article
http://www.internationalman.com on how to make it easier.
Some of the things that he says applies equally to
by
Jeff Thomas | October 27, 2014
Until recently, those moving from one country to another were generally moving
from a Second or Third World country
to
a First World country, often for the purpose of economic opportunity.
Not surprising, then, that these people seemed eager to do whatever was
necessary to fit in, in their new home.
What is often overlooked in this situation is that the very
qualities that such people demonstrated as new residents were often
national traits in their home countries. That is, they were not merely
trying to adapt; they were demonstrating traits that were the norm in
their home countries.
However, we are living in a time when the roles are beginning to
reverse. A growing number of people are now fleeing the shores of First
World countries to move to what have traditionally been regarded as the
Second and Third Worlds.
The difficulty that arises in this change is that the customary
behaviour of First Worlders is often out-of-keeping with those in their
newly adopted homes.
This is not to say that all First Worlders are always seen as
arrogant boors when they are abroad, but enough of them are that, in
many countries, locals are cautious of new residents from First World
countries. Cautious enough that, in order to be accepted, it might be
advisable for those considering expatriation to consider how others may
see them.
In actual fact, whilst caution exists abroad, it can be an
opportunity for the expatriate, for the traits that are most valued in
such countries are fairly consistent. And should a new resident show a
genuine desire to display such traits, he might find that locals are
pleasantly surprised and will, in fact, be especially welcoming.
In addition, the task is not a difficult one. The primary traits
that apply are few, and whilst they may possibly require a conscious
effort, they often represent the difference between acceptance and a
lack of acceptance.
In order of their importance, they are:
1. Humility
Most people in Second and Third World countries are not as
aggressive in manner as those from First World countries. Whilst a
go-getter attitude is generally seen as an asset in the First World, it
is often looked upon as arrogance in other parts of the world. The same
approach that will assure that you will get a quick sandwich-to-go in a
New York deli will be likely to engender disdain in Chiang Mai,
Thailand, or Quito, Ecuador.
For many people who expatriate, dropping the “can-do” attitude is
actually a relief. Those who are by nature low-key, considerate people
will find it easiest to adapt. Those who are more demonstrative by
nature may find it more difficult. Either way, the effort
will engender rewards.
Kindness, a close relative of humility, goes just as far. Genuine
consideration of others greatly increases chances of acceptance.
2. A Desire to Absorb the Culture
Brits who go on holiday to Majorca are famous for trying the
local beer and saying, “It’s not proper beer—it’s rubbish.” This does
not endear them to the locals. Similarly, Americans who examine a menu
in a Caribbean restaurant and say, “Conch? Turtle? Do you people
actually eat this stuff?” are similarly unlikely to gain favour.
It’s easy enough to find something on the menu that’s more
familiar. If you’re not especially adventurous in your diet, there’s
always
something that you can order and later praise as having been to your liking.
Other cultural differences are the same. Consider being less
demonstrative about those items that aren’t to your liking, whilst
praising those that are.
3. An Effort to Speak the Language
This item requires the greatest effort, as it may require a
re-education. However, even if the country you expatriate to is not
English-speaking and you know absolutely nothing of the local language,
if you’re seen to be trying your best to be learning words and phrases
in the local language, the effort will be noticed.
Locals may still find
it frustrating to communicate with you, but they’ll appreciate that
you’re trying.
The result will be greater acceptance. More doors will
open for you; fewer will close.
There will, of course be those who offer an immediate knee-jerk
rejection of all of the above. In response to #1, Humility, I once
received the comment, “I’m not going to suck up to
anyone. I
was in Uruguay for two years. I opened a business and spent money in the
country. They should have rolled out the red carpet for me.”
He was
bitter that his investment had gone to waste; he had left after two
years, as he could never seem to melt the icicles on Uruguayans. Had he
simply left his vanity and pride at the border, he might have benefitted
from the natural generosity and kindness of the Uruguayan people. He
failed to understand that simple consideration and “sucking up” are
poles apart.
Regarding #2, A Desire to Absorb the Culture, I was once advised
by a British expat, “I’m not eating crap food to please anyone.” In
fact, he didn’t need to. He was not overly fond of the fatty meat cuts
he found in Argentina, but rather than being overly critical, he could
have easily said, “I’m not much of a red meat eater. I’ll have some
pasta and a glass of Tannat. Eating in Argentina always means wonderful
wine.”
Regarding #3, An Effort to Speak the Language, I have an
associate who is not especially talented in linguistics. He was advised
by a countryman, “If you’re in South America, as soon as they speak,
just say, ’No Spanish.’ Then they
have to use English to talk
to you.” Which they will do. Unfortunately, the message to the locals
is, “I don’t care if I am a guest in your country; you have to adapt to
suit
me, not the other way around.” Whilst most locals will do
just that, a much better relationship could be forged by simply learning
to say, “Lo siento, mi español no es muy bueno. ¿Habla inglés?” (I’m
sorry, my Spanish is not very good. Do you speak English?)
The use of simple courtesy creates an entirely different
relationship, whether it be with a waiter in a restaurant, a government
official, or anyone else.
We have the Internet. We can look up whatever useful phrases we
need to use to demonstrate the fact that we understand we’re guests and
that we wish to be considerate.
All the above is, or should be, basic common sense. However, for all of us, ingrained ideas about “the way things
should be” at times get in the way of our acceptance and, therefore, our progress in other jurisdictions.
There’s a great benefit in being a guest in another country, as
the government tends to treat us better than it treats its own citizens.
However, in our day-to-day affairs, it behooves us to
remember
that we’re guests. We need not kowtow, nor suppress our beliefs and
opinions; we need only to treat our hosts with the same courtesy with
which they treat us.
The world is your oyster, and there are very attractive jurisdictions that are cause for optimism. That’s what
International Man is all about—making the most of your personal freedom and financial opportunity around the world. Our
Going Global publication is a great place to start.
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