I hate my toilet

I hate my toilet…How can anyone hate a toilet? Let me count the ways.

1. It is twenty years old.

2. The first year the only way to flush it was to remove the cover.

3. I have had a minimum of five innard replacements in the last five years.

4. Last year, Gigi (aka Gerard) who is the rarest of French workmen (read reliable, read shows up on time, read doesn’t overcharge, read has a wife that makes a great couscous) found innards that were suppose to last a lifetime.

5. Wednesday night the innards broke.

6. With the new innards, the toilet makes a sound that sounds a bit like a train coming through my studio.

Gigi has keys to my flat so he can come and do whatever needs to be done when I am not there. I came back from the marché to a repaired, albeit it railroad-noisy, toilet. When I called for the cost, I told him. I WANT TO REPLACE THE WHOLE DAMNED THING. He said we would talk about it.