Friday, March 30, 2018

Bad writing

As a writer, what goes into a book, short story or article is usually the Xth version. I rewrite and polish, strengthen a verb, cut an adverb, double check that I haven't repeated something. I will switch paragraphs to make the writing more logical.

This morning, when I woke, I wondered what it would be like to deliberately write badly. Here's what I came up with and it was fun.

1. The light shone on his white, white teeth, creating a new ray of sunlight that beamed its way straight into her heart.

2. Looking in the mirror, she couldn't help but admire her undulating hair, the color of strawberries in the green grocer's gift baskets, falling half way down her back.

3. He knew he was overweight, flab falling in rows like the Michelin tire guy but he had to escape.  So he ran for the first time in the last two decades. Each step created a tsunami of breathing problems, but he continued until he thought he would explode. And then he did explode, or at least that's what the doctor who did the autopsy said when he opened his chest with his silver knife and saw the remains of the man's heart in pink disarray.

4. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not...with each phrase her slim fingers decapitated another petal from the daisy. There were so many petals on the ground around where she was sitting, it looked as if there had been a small blizzard, except the sun was hot and the petals would not melt but decompose. Already they were withering like his love for her. She would continue plucking until one daisy would declare her man's love for her. Otherwise, she would have to kill herself.


Miss Footloose said...

Oh, you made me laugh. Having written 30 plus romance novels, I know all about editing and re-writing--the good, the bad and the ugly. In my career I've seen lots of examples of bad writing, and hey, why not have a bit of fun with it. We should have a competition...

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