Integration

I hear people say, "Refugees should integrate."

I wonder if those who have only lived in one place have any idea what that means to the person in a new culture. I wonder how well they would do if they were plucked down in a strange culture.

Although I have lived for various amounts of time -- months to decades -- in different countries outside my birth country, the cultures are all western cultures. I never had to run from gangs, bombs, starvation. My moving was my choice.

Some of the cross-culture differences have been easy. I have read Edward Hall's work on low and high context cultures and knew where I should not only look for differences but adapt to them such as uses of time, space, verbal and non verbal communication.

I also assume most people have not studied these things especially those fleeing bombs. No one says as they climb into a boat ready for a perilous sea voyage, "I need to finish 'The Hidden Dimension' and 'Cultural Awareness and Cross Cultural Communication' so if we don't all die on the trip I will be prepared."

My first experience was in Germany where my ex was in an army Band. We lived "on the economy" so I had access to the PX and commissary. Still I wanted to relate to my German neighbors. It was a PR unit so we played Fashings and Fests, and wives were encourage to go to show Americans as nice people. I loved it. I had taken an intensive German course so I could function in German, but the people who we've stayed in contact with were all Army people.

My longest time has been in Switzerland. The man who hired me said he, "was curious to find out what sort of people would apply. He was hoping to find some who would be open to changing their lives and lifestyle, adapting to different language areas and cultures."

Did I?

In 2006 I became Swiss. Although for years I had a Swiss gentlemen friend and knew all the nuances of polite Swiss life, loved the country's history and habits, appreciated the culture, part of me, even after renouncing my American citizenship, retain New England Yankee roots, right down to using my great grandmother's beanpot.

I've spent time in pre-war Syria, and yes I could adapt to life there although it would be harder. The people, the food, the respect for the Muslim religion I could easily adjust too. But would I happily wear a hijab or a burka? Probably not happily, but I would do it out of politeness for the culture in some places in the country. Yet in India, if I could figure out how to wear a sari, I would. Otherwise I would select the other. But to give up my western dress would feel strange.

So how would all the people who say refugees and foreigners integrate. I think of the Brit man living in the south of Spain. He was asked if he would ever go back to London. He looked at the interviewer with horror. "No, it's full of foreigners. Most don't ever speak English." When he was asked how his Spanish was, he said, "Enough to order a beer."

To totally integrate is negate what came before in life. To not integrate at all is to lose out on the richness of a new culture and a new way of life. To combine the two? Best of all worlds.