Trump--the novel

 

"If this were a novel, no one would believe it," my husband said watching the beginnings of Trump's trial.

I thought about it. 

He's right. 

Many changes would have to be made.

First: Names of the characters must be changed. They are too unbelievable.

Trump...it can be a card. It can mean getting the better of someone. Take away the T and you have rump which can mean a small or inferior remnant or the hindquarters of an animal. A ridiculous name for the hero of any novel.

Pecker, the first witness's name ... I suppose there's an irony in the vulgar description of a male's organ in this trial with its sexual themes.

 

Stormy ... the prostitute who was paid to keep the secret of a liaison. It has unleashed a storm. But it is too obvious for good fiction or bad reality.

 

Second: The hero can't piss off the judge. 

 

Conflict, yes, is good for fiction, but in a case before a court, it is just plain stupid at best and idiotic at the very worse. It would be hard to believe the hero would do that. 

 

Third: Fairness...

 

Despite that everyone in the U.S. is supposedly allowed a fair trial, many are not. This trial where the defendent seems to get advantages an average person would not. I suspect they would have been in jail for contempt of court long ago. 

 

So where does that leave a novel based on the Trump trial? 

 

No where. 

 

It is bad enough in reality, that a fictionalize version would be just too depressing to write or read. Bad enough that the U.S. has sunk so low that this character had ever set foot in the White House. That too is unbelievable -- except sadly it's true.