Thank you-- yes or no

 

An interesting subject came up on my Facebook. Should brides send thank you notes for gifts. 

Some people felt that a picture of the bride and groom with a pre-printed thank you was a bit tacky. Several complained that there was no recognition of the gift at all including receipt.

One bride said people were busy and as for her she didn't have time to write 300 thank yous. 300 people who probably were "busy" found time to buy, spend and send her a gift. If it were me, that would be the last gift she would receive from me, including even paying for a cup of coffee. Come to think of it, I doubt if I would waste my precious time on someone with her attitude.

Some people said hand written thank yous were passé. But there's other ways. 

Maybe I'm a COW, Cranky Old Woman, but I think showing appreciation should not be outdated. It could be a phone call, an email or a private message on social media. 

As a child, thank you notes were obligatory starting with doing a drawing before I could write. For those who think it's passé, when I loaned my home to a couple for a few days, their two sons, both under six, left drawings and their mother added the words thank you.

I had an aunt who loved sending me handkerchiefs every Christmas, which I never used, but my activities were limited until those damned notes were written. At least one year, the handkerchiefs were trimmed with pink lace, which I remember mentioning before having my grandmother check my spelling and letting me go out to play. 

Moving to Switzerland where things were more formal, my then Swiss gentleman friend, told me thank you notes were obligatory after a dinner given by any of his friend. He checked my French. In the more relaxed international committee, a quick phone call or an email will do.

My husband, a successful communicator, always sent a thank you note after an interviewer. I think I got a job because I did that. Maybe it was shock value.

On a private level, my husband brings me tea in bed every morning. I always thank him. We share cooking and thank the other for the effort. 

A thank you (merci, gracias, danke, tak, shukran) is a reaffirmation of our humanness and caring.