Saturday, November 17, 2018

Gay friends

Years ago, a very, very close friend came out to me. My reaction was so what. She was my friend.

She asked me to meet her new girl friend.

Over hummus and tabuli, my friend's friend asked..."What would you do if your daughter told you she was in love with another woman?"

"As long as her lover was good to her it would be okay."

I thought about it... "They same thing as if she were in love with black as long as she was good to my daughter. It would be ok."

Then it dawned on me. What I wouldn't be good with was if my daughter were in love with a black, lesbian who abused her. Or any one that was abusive.

Love is hard enough to find. Let's treasure it when we find it.


I remembered this long-ago event after reading about Emily Scheck.

The story is below and can be found at

After being initially told that her eligibility was in question, a gay cross-country runner at Canisius College who was disowned by her parents will be allowed to keep donations raised for her through a GoFundMe page and maintain her eligibility, the school announced on Friday.

Emily Scheck — a sophomore cross-country runner at Canisius College in Buffalo, New York — was disowned from her family in August after her mom found a picture of her with her girlfriend on social media.

Scheck’s mom told her that it was disgusting, gave her an ultimatum: Either come home from school and receive therapy or be cut out of the family completely.

Scheck didn’t want to leave school, as she had already moved in and was training with the cross-country team for the upcoming season, and wanted nothing to do with conversion therapy.
So one day soon after, Scheck came home and found her car had been packed up with all of her belongings from her parents’ house. Her father drove to Canisus College to load up her car and take the license plates off — as her parents were paying for the car insurance.

They told her to never talk to them or her siblings again.

Scheck was left with just $20 to her name. She didn’t have a meal plan, money for tuition or textbooks, or car insurance. She was suddenly alone.

“At the start it was definitely tough,” Scheck told Outsports. “I was lucky to be in preseason the first couple of weeks because coach could get us meals in the dining hall … We’ve had a lot of meals together.”

The GoFundMe Page

Scheck brought her problems to the coaching staff, who told her that they would try to help her out in any way that they could.

Yet months later, coach Nate Huckle and the school were still struggling to figure out how to help her financially. While she was on a partial athletic scholarship, it was nowhere near enough to cover everything.

So, seeing that she was still struggling, Scheck’s friends took matters into their own hands. Her roommate started a GoFundMe page explaining her situation, and set a goal to raise $5,000.

“Any amount of money will help her to buy groceries, finance to finish school, or cover insurance. Help her focus on school instead of working to make ends meet,” Scheck’s friend, Grace Hausladen, wrote on the GoFundMe page. “No one thought that her coming out would have such a drastic effect. This should not be happening in today’s society. Help her feel accepted. Help her feel like herself.”
Within just nine days, the page had raised nearly $26,000.

The NCAA cried foul

Soon after the page took off, Scheck was contacted by a NCAA compliance officer.

According to NCAA rules, “a student-athlete may not use his or her name, picture or athletics reputation to solicit funds through a personal online profile or crowdfunding site, except as permitted by NCAA legislation.” In order for a school to assist a student-athlete with a fundraiser, it must be able to prove that a “significant life event” occurred.

The compliance staff at Canisius College — which self-reported the violation to the NCAA last week — determined that the GoFundMe page violated NCAA rules, and informed Scheck that she needed to shut down the page and return all of the money if she wanted to keep her eligibility. If not, she would have to leave the team.

The school did tell Scheck that they would work with both her and the NCAA to try to find a solution, but there was no telling how long that would take to sort out.

“It would run the risk of it not even happening,” Scheck told Outsports. “There was no confirmation that we would even have our eligibility reinstated, or that I would get any financial help. There was no security.”

Because of the page, and the NCAA’s ruling that found the page was in violation of its rules, both Scheck and Hausladen left the running program at Casisius earlier this week.

Yet after spending the past week re-evaluating the situation, the NCAA reversed it’s ruling. It had found enough proof that she had experienced a “significant life event,” and will allow Scheck to receive the money and still keep her eligibility, it announced on Friday.

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