A lost list

My father and step mom's conversation was often peppered with those that they had lost. They lived in a Florida retirement community and someone, if they hadn't died, was fighting cancer or recovering from a heart attack. The best things were hip of knee replacements. Conversations could be depressing, but it was important for my folks to share the information.

In my age group then, these occurrences were rare. Yes, a classmate had died in an auto accident shortly after graduation and another succumbed to cancer in her 40s. Vietnam took another schoolhood friend. Mostly, we all seemed eternal. This included family gatherings with all the aunts, uncles and cousins.

I do remember thinking once when on a bus, in 100 years we will all be dead. A100 years seemed very far away.

With the arrogance of youth, I said, I would never be like my parents when I was old reciting the death and dying lists to my children.

Now I am old.

Within the past few days, the daughter of one my friends had died. I lost the friend a few years back. Then another friend is recovering from heart surgery. I told my daughter about the daughter's death. She knew her from when we were all much younger. No need to mention the man with the heart attack. My daughter never met him. I am becoming my parents partially.

I think of all the people I have lost starting with grandparents, parents, stepmom, step sister. I am lucky that out of a plethora of cousins, we've only lost three. Former housemates parents that were more than just housemate parents and a former housemate. A sister of a former housemate, whom I knew from telephone calls and whom I wished I had known in person. My best of friend of 50+ years and another of 40+ years.

Having people you care about die sucks. The expressions passed, gone to better things, promoted to glory and for loved animals, crossed the rainbow bridge...don't help.

We live down the street from a 13th century church. At least once or twice a week there is funeral. The bells toll mournfully. The condolence book is outside and people line up to sign it.

Many of my friends are in their 60s, 70s and 80s. I realize that I may not have them forever. The friend's daughter was in her 50s.

I no longer think in a 100 years we might all be dead. It could tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. It is a reminder to be nice to them.

We have today.

We should treasure it.