Thursday, December 31, 2015

Moratorium on death

Okay, death isn't a happy topic, which is why I am declaring a moratorium of friends and family on death for 2016. Enough is enough

Having a second bout of cancer, does create a sense on my mortality. Just my age at 73 could do that. But I am well on my way to complete healing.

In the shower this morning I reflected all of the people whom I've loved and lost over the years, and compared to many people, especially those in war zones, it is few, but it is still too many.

In memory of those family and friends whom I've lost and who still exist in my heart and always will I list you.

Florence Stockbridge SARGENT (DAR) my grandmother who died in her late 80s. Whatever is good and strong in me came from her.

James Francis BOUDREAU at 69. He died Dec. 30th one day after his 69th birthday. We made up for the years that I lost him as a child to forge a strong relationship. I knew him well from 20 to 48 and those years were precious. It was a lesson it is never too late to love.

Jack CROWLEY in his step mom's step father...a family of choice member who told me his doctor was stupid expecting him to lose weight the way he ate and drank. We were both born on July 24, many decades apart.

Sam and Eva SCHEINFELDT who were part of holidays and events from the time I began work with Eva in 1967 until their deaths many years later and quite a few apart. They were more than relish recipes and singing "Little Drummer Boy" as we decorated the Christmas tree and waited for Chinese food to be delivered.

Diane Perroset REYNOLDS my step sister. My parents made one major mistake calling her the beautiful daughter and calling me the intelligent. I am not ugly, she was not stupid. She died in her fifties from some bad life choices. She was also one of the sweetest people I have known.

Dorothy Sargent BOUDREAU at 71 from throat cancer. She would never stop smoking. It took me ten years after her death to let the good back in. Domineering, and destructive to me as an adult, she was when I was a child often fun, understanding and generous. Some of the good things I do with my daughter came from for the bad...I have a range of people who would kick me if I tried any of them.

Mardy WILLSON who gave me (and I hope I gave back) 53 years of friendship and support. As I was recovering from my first bout of cancer and her from a fall I complained how tired I was. She complained how she hated being forced to walk. Her last words were "I'll sleep for you, you walk for me." Sadly her sleep started the next day and was permanent.

Norma Crowley BOUDREAU who forgot to read the Ugly Stepmother's Manual...who always said to my father, that they didn't have his children or her children but "our children" and made the best chocolate Kahlua cake. We only had one cross word in all the time that I knew her and that was about an iron I put away hot. My father did really well in his second marriage and I love him even more for bringing Norma into my life.

Dr. Barbara HAGAMAN at 78 and a friend for 41 years in four different living places on two continents. A woman who lived by her own rules which were better than the ones that society imposed upon her.

So, as I said above, enough enough. We can renegotiate death in 2017. We can't stop it forever, but a year would be so nice.

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