Monday, August 28, 2017

Smart phone

"Let me get this straight," the man behind the counter said. He had to be in his late twenties at most. "You want a telephone for your wife's coffin."

"Yes that way I can still talk to her." The customer was middle-aged and rather good looking.

"First time anyone has asked." The salesman went on line and tapped into the computer. "Hmm, we do have after death plans."

"How much?" The customer asked.

The salesman scrolled down his screen before answering. "That depends. There are three plans for heaven, hell and purgatory."

"A Catholic plan?" the man asked.

"No it covers all religions." He stared at the screen. "And non religious too. No explanations."

"Probably a way to market the plans," the customer said and the salesman nodded.

"Heaven is unlimited calling at 15 Euros each month. That covers all continents. Purgatory is 30 Euros a month and you have 20 hours each month. You can choose three continents and there are time of day limitations."

The man frowned. "What if my wife is in hell. I don't think she is, overall she wasn't that bad, but just in case."

The salesman looked a bit embarrassed. He didn't like to get into personal situations. "One call a month and to only a destination of your choosing."


The salesman consulted his screen. "1,000 Euros each month."

"She better not be in hell," the customer said.

The salesman took out several models. "She won't need a case in heaven, but we recommend one for purgatory and hell. You know how it is."

"And a charger?" the customer asked.

The salesman explained it was a complete package.

"How do I get it to her?"

"Just put it in the coffin."

"We buried her a month ago."

"I suppose you could dig her up." The salesman looked thoughtful. "Or dig a hole next to the grave. I suppose the phone would have to touch the coffin."

The man nodded. "I really miss her. She never wanted a phone, any phone. Used computers all day long, but phones? Went into a fury if anyone called her. Said she'd have one over her dead body. I want to follow her last wish."

No comments: