The Fragility of Now

"I saw S." Rick had just come back from Sherlock's morning walk. "She said the reason R didn't stop for the keys, he was in a car accident."

It's bad. Broken legs, internal injuries, two surgeries and an anticipated stay of months in the hospital. 

It could be worse. 

He's alive.

R is the brother I always wanted. I met him 31 years ago when we both had new jobs in Switzerland and we were put in the company flat together. Even when we changed jobs, changed flats our friendship flourished.

There would be weekend grocery trips to France that would turn into adventures of checking what was down this or that road and we might not get back till the next day. There were weekend trips to Garmish Partenkirchen in Germany where he was taking a course We'd stay with my cousins, endless talks on music and life, his discovery of Boston with me. I was a witness at his wedding, he officiated at Rick's and my commitment ceremony. At times we shared soul secrets, worries, fears. Always we shared our joys.

"Do you want to play Backgammon tonight?" R said to me on the phone one night before supper.

"Where are you?" I was in Switzerland.

"Frankfort." At 22:15h he was there. We played all night. After a couple of hours sleep he headed back to Germany and work on Monday.

R commutes between Southern France and the middle of Switzerland regularly. He has driven all over Europe like some people drive to the grocery store. They say most accidents happen close to home. This happened close to home not on some faraway autoroute.

The accident explains why R didn't pick up the keys to my Nest that he often uses as an office when he is in France. I think of all the glorious moments when he pops up, sometimes with something good to eat with a cup of tea that Rick will make. I think of how a few seconds changed his plans for the next few months. 

I think of all the hours, moments, seconds that we have something precious only to have it change or disappear. 

I think of the fragility of now.