Cuomo, Edwards, metoo

 

I'm bad at choosing politicians to like. I've found most I have selected turn out to have the proverbial clay feet if I wait long enough.

I was impressed with Cuomo as he talked to cameras through the early days of the pandemic.

I was impressed with John Edwards when he ran for president when he talked about two Americas.

Both men as humans ended up leaving a lot to be desired. Edwards was not known for improper advances but having an affair, producing a child when his wife was dying of cancer was less than admirable.

It is not reasonable to expect any alleged leader to be perfect, but there are guidelines of common decency and honesty that should be followed. Maybe I'm naive to think so.

What is it about powerful men that feel they can get their jollies from women in less powerful stances?

Why did Matt Lauer think an NBC staff member would be impressed with his genitals? 

Maybe Harvey Weinstein knew how ugly he was and his payback was humiliating women who wanted entry to success via his penis.

I wish I could say it was limited to men who are considered at the top of their profession. But the same thing applies to men with itsy bitsy power in a company or on a campus.

I think of professors at my university who used to stare up women's skirts (pre-jeans days). There were several consensual relationships on campus, which I see as different. It's a no-no these days and I'm not sure it should be as long as one does not have power over the other for things like grades. Sex for grades isn't acceptable.

In the work place at one company where I worked, women shared which men to look out for. In another it was part of the orientation of new female hires. One boss considered breast squeezing as part of the job description along with balancing the books until the woman left his office screaming. Everyone was amazed the man lost his job and not the woman.

The woman winning is not always the case. More often she puts her job in jeopardy. I was a single mom and my salary as well my career building jobs were important. I learned to sidestep but usually found another job. Avoiding advances is not a good work environment and the energy it takes reduces job efficiency at best.

It isn't just unwanted touching through to sexual intercourse, there are men who tell dirty jokes, a small percentage which might be funny, but the majority denigrate women.

Me Too movement, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_Too_movement, has helped somewhat call attention to the problem.

Interesting that Cuomo talked about his daughters in his resignation. My immediate thought was would he want his daughters treated the way he treated women? 

What are the limits? A French friend who worked in the Netherlands went from an American to a French company. She said it was nice to see the men be able to compliment a woman on her appearance without it being considered harassment, but normal discourse. A woman saying "I like that dress" would be okay, and a man saying it might be considered harassment. There's is no way to know if the man did appreciate the attractive appearance or was thinking how he wanted to take it off her.

At one point I was reading something my male assistant had written. I was standing behind him and as I leaned forward I put my hand on his shoulder more for balance.

"Careful," he said, "Sexual harassment." He had a twinkle in his eye. It could have been different if we weren't friends as well as colleagues, if he wanted my job and thought going to HR would be a step to it. The company already had had one man say his female boss came on to him. He was new and did not realize she was a dedicated lesbian.

That there are false claims should not negate the true ones. Cuomo was supposed to have put his hand on a woman's breast. He was supposed to have kissed women. Had it been one woman, one might be in doubt. Eleven and counting?

Sexual harassment is only one way power can be abused. It can be awarding contracts (or assignments), accepting bribes to vote, not protecting the people one is supposed to protect as part of their responsibilities. 

I am unable to answer a basic question. Why?