Toothpaste, who'd have thunk it?

“T O O T H P A S T E ! ! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?”

“Toothpaste,” my housemate replied. She is an intelligent woman. When we disagree on something it is often because we are each working with a different set of facts, and when we discuss how we came to our conclusions, one or both of us modify our opinions depending…
Thus when she told me that toothpaste would help my acne, I was willing to listen, after recovering from the shock of it all.

I have been plagued by skin problems most of my life. Pimples, although usually an affliction of the young, is not a way I want to maintain an appearance of youth. I do not want to be the only little old lady in a nursing home with the skin of a 16 year-old on her way to a dermatologist.

There was one period when my skin was English rose beautiful and that was when I was pregnant with my daughter. As much as I love her, producing 20-plus children to maintain a nice complexion was not practical financially, emotionally or physically.

Somewhere in my 40s I discovered that certain foods added to the problem. By giving up my daily glass of orange juice, outbreaks reduced significantly. Pineapples, kakis, and grapefruit also add to the problem and most have been banished from my diet.

A couple of days ago I could not resist a beautiful blood orange, and every swallow was worth the hard red spots on my cheek s a few hours later.

I figured I’d give the toothpaste trick a try. Over the years not much has worked except massive doses of Tetracycline that leads to another problem that involves wanting to scratch violently in impolite ways. Creams and lotions plus tons of prescription creams—I’d tried enough to open my own skin product department.

Thus I went to bed with cheeks a beautiful Crest blue. I woke up with all the bumps smooth, and only a slight discoloration. I figured a second application would help, but decided to wait until after I returned from town. I doubt if toothpaste, blue or otherwise, will ever catch on as a makeup trend.

Meanwhile, I must remember to ask my housemate about the vinegar and something she uses for cleaning drains…wise woman, she…