Friday, July 25, 2014

Thoughts on becoming 72



Early years
I was born during WWII, but my only remembrance was how happy people were that the war was over. I didn't know what a war was, but it was nice people were happy. Now there are 41 wars in the world, each making less sense than the one before.

We had the first TV in Reading, MA. The screen was a fraction of my normal laptop screen. We also had tons of company every evening and I feel asleep to the smell of popcorn and the sound of whatever program was on.  I was more interested in Big Brother Bob Emery, a local children's presenter (photo).

Growing up in Reading in a time where people could earn a good living, get a good education, gave me a solid background for the rest of my life.

My parents divorced, thank goodness.


People say I don't look my age...who would dare?

My vanity does not like the less than taunt skin, the extra weight, although having been stick thin for many of my years, the kilos gained aren't as bad as they could be if I'd started from a chubbier base. Because I still get pimples far too often, I maintain it's my way of staying young looking.

I've already outlived one grandfather and my parents. In a way I feel I'm living the years they couldn't. My maternal grandmother, Dar, died in her mid 80s and my paternal grandparents lasted until their 90s (photo). That is my next goal to reach -- Dar's age.

I've various aches and pains and stiffness.

My body weaknesses: an esophagus that throws temper tantrums, that I've survived breast cancer and asthma are not necessarily age related. Still I chafe against any physical restrictions.

My life has been blessed

Overall my life has been blessed. I've done everything I've wanted not necessarily when I wanted or how, but my dreams have been accomplished. Not in order
1. To be a writer
2. To live in Europe
3. To have a daughter

The two happiest days of my life, among thousands, were when Llara was born and when I became Swiss.

Two of the saddest were the days of my divorce and when I had to give up my nationality. I've lost people I've loved, some who have moved on, others who have died. You don't get to 72 without some pain.

I've had wonderful friends, people I treasure. I've had support from friends or family through all my crises. And I've been able to support people I've loved through theirs. Better to not have had crisis but I know I can handle them whether mine or the support of others'.

I've had wonderful jobs and terrible ones. The best was DCU, but in retrospect too much of my time was spent in uncaring companies. However, those jobs gave me the funds to live the rest of my life not in luxury but in comfort.

Between France and Switzerland, I inhabit two incredibly beautiful places. My Swiss home includes one of those treasured friends: the French, a husband I never expected to have or wanted. Nice he proved me wrong on having a man in my life.

I've always had words dancing in my head. That I've been able to have my novels published still needs a skin-pinching-reality check.

Things, good, bad or neutral come into our lives. I hope I can work with them all.

I've made mistakes

The biggest being the divorce of a dead man I wasn't married to. Everyone should have one alpha stupid action in their lives to keep them humble.

I overstepped mother bounds with a grown child. I apologized. As she said, "I'm glad you grew out of that phase." 

The others mistakes were smaller.

Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes of all dimensions. If nothing they help me appreciate my non mistakes.

Things that really, really matter

People, friends, kindness, love.  The rest is detail.

Candle photo: Rick split a birthday brownie. I'm lucky he didn't try to put 72 candles on it but 7 on one and 2 on the other.








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